![[sticky entry]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
Purpose:
I'm identifying and describing myself to make it easier for people to talk to me, for me to find community, to point out some common interests, to make it simpler for anyone who chooses to call me on blinkered or privileged thinking, and to avoid inadvertently misrepresenting myself. Because people do change over time, this post is also subject to change.
Names and Pronouns:
Please call me alatefeline on Dreamwidth. I prefer they/them pronouns. ( Read more... )
Regarding access and subscriptions: I subscribe to people's journals readily if I like reading stuff they post. Feel free to subscribe to mine or not as you like. Basically nothing on my journal is access locked, so please don't feel like it means much if I don't grant you access / accidentally hit the grant access button. I will update if and when this needs to change.
writey thing
19 July 2017 19:46Actually worked a bit on the Writey Thing for the first time, I think, since April.
I somehow drabbled. This is pure setting-background scenery-brainstorming sense-detail, came out in second person for no particular reason, dunno if it will be in the story, but I have got to be writing on the regular, I need that habit and that mode of expression. I'll take it.
Mentions food, wilderness. Here it is.
( Read more... )
I somehow drabbled. This is pure setting-background scenery-brainstorming sense-detail, came out in second person for no particular reason, dunno if it will be in the story, but I have got to be writing on the regular, I need that habit and that mode of expression. I'll take it.
Mentions food, wilderness. Here it is.
( Read more... )
got sucked into computerland for a bit
going for a walk
will check things when I get back
going for a walk
will check things when I get back
went and did stuff
18 July 2017 20:59Petted FOUR cats on neighborhood walk this morning. Porch Cat, Calico Neighbor Cat, the little bitty mostly-white calico who seems to be their neighbor and rival, and a black and slightly-tuxedo cat out for a walk with his person.
Did a bit of chores of the paperwork-y sort, and communicated reasonably well with S about chores’n’stuff.
Sent my sibling B a picture of me with my genderqueer-flag-striped cat-face button!
Today met up with the excellent![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kengr at Powell’s City of Books in the afternoon. We had a great conversation. Hooray for people I like to talk to actually living somewhere nearish! Did not buy ALL the things though I was tempted. Also I got a couple of books by C.J. Cherryh, who is a very good writer. Mwahahaha.
Had a great walk. [Content note: Exercise, food, brain weirdness, body weirdness] ( Read more... )
Found some things that might could be useful while walking. Made tentative plans/options for hopefully-productive tomorrow.
Did a bit of chores of the paperwork-y sort, and communicated reasonably well with S about chores’n’stuff.
Sent my sibling B a picture of me with my genderqueer-flag-striped cat-face button!
Today met up with the excellent
kengr at Powell’s City of Books in the afternoon. We had a great conversation. Hooray for people I like to talk to actually living somewhere nearish! Did not buy ALL the things though I was tempted. Also I got a couple of books by C.J. Cherryh, who is a very good writer. Mwahahaha.Had a great walk. [Content note: Exercise, food, brain weirdness, body weirdness] ( Read more... )
Found some things that might could be useful while walking. Made tentative plans/options for hopefully-productive tomorrow.
Things which have, today, delighted me:
Improvements in my overall mental and physical functioning of late; most especially, the energy to do small practical things and random acts of kindness without nearly always stalling out somewhere between the idea and the result.
People being happy about things I have said and done for them or for the world in general: an online friend who got a package, a physical-space neighbor who is possibly on the way to being an actual friendly acquaintance, a partner who gave & got help, listening, and smiles, a passerby who called us superheroes for putting out a smoldering leaf pile where someone had tossed a cigarette.
Petting numerous cats. So many! So fluffy! So purr! 3 of 4 cat sightings successfully negotiated to pets on my morning walk, plus 1 kitty this evening on the way back from the car. Cats yesterday, too!
Our garden plot. The shade of the central fig tree is extraordinarily peaceful. In various plots, there are strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries in some stage of bearing fruit. In our plot, we have lots of herbs, lots of things growing that aren’t harvestable at the moment, and a tremendous bumper crop of green beans! I am managing - so far - to handle totally-reasonable-in-origin worries about watering enough, weeding enough, and logging required community service hours despite the entirely unreasonable level of anxiety the provoke. With the rich compost that I nurtured on my shovel and the herbs that I grew in my mouth and the sun on my back and the wind on my face, it’s pretty doable.
Dreamwidth, and the community I find there. Thanks.
Improvements in my overall mental and physical functioning of late; most especially, the energy to do small practical things and random acts of kindness without nearly always stalling out somewhere between the idea and the result.
People being happy about things I have said and done for them or for the world in general: an online friend who got a package, a physical-space neighbor who is possibly on the way to being an actual friendly acquaintance, a partner who gave & got help, listening, and smiles, a passerby who called us superheroes for putting out a smoldering leaf pile where someone had tossed a cigarette.
Petting numerous cats. So many! So fluffy! So purr! 3 of 4 cat sightings successfully negotiated to pets on my morning walk, plus 1 kitty this evening on the way back from the car. Cats yesterday, too!
Our garden plot. The shade of the central fig tree is extraordinarily peaceful. In various plots, there are strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries in some stage of bearing fruit. In our plot, we have lots of herbs, lots of things growing that aren’t harvestable at the moment, and a tremendous bumper crop of green beans! I am managing - so far - to handle totally-reasonable-in-origin worries about watering enough, weeding enough, and logging required community service hours despite the entirely unreasonable level of anxiety the provoke. With the rich compost that I nurtured on my shovel and the herbs that I grew in my mouth and the sun on my back and the wind on my face, it’s pretty doable.
Dreamwidth, and the community I find there. Thanks.
AI movement
17 July 2017 09:53AI teaches itself to walk, run, jump inside a physics simulation. Comes up with a flappy runny sometimes-sideways walking style. Looks inefficient to many self-appointed experts. Works well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
I am feeling my robot side today. And angry that people have a problem with flappy arm running.
*zoom*
EDIT: Note to self: Write a proper video transcript/descript to share, darn it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
I am feeling my robot side today. And angry that people have a problem with flappy arm running.
*zoom*
EDIT: Note to self: Write a proper video transcript/descript to share, darn it!
signal boost: kittans
15 July 2017 16:17The wonderful conuly has been attempting to feed, medicate, and shelter two semi-feral kittens, and has finally got them into a safe contained space. Anyone in the greater NYC area interested in two baby kitties who are a bit wild and shy but young enough to learn to love people?
Edited: If not, once they've been checked up and cleaned up and properly treated for eye troubles, they'll be moving on...to a shelter, a foster home, or TNR, depending on what's available and how their socialization goes.
http://conuly.dreamwidth.org/2556978.
conuly has been attempting to feed, medicate, and shelter two semi-feral kittens, and has finally got them into a safe contained space. Anyone in the greater NYC area interested in two baby kitties who are a bit wild and shy but young enough to learn to love people? Edited: If not, once they've been checked up and cleaned up and properly treated for eye troubles, they'll be moving on...to a shelter, a foster home, or TNR, depending on what's available and how their socialization goes.
http://conuly.dreamwidth.org/2556978.
You can call me alatefeline.
More detailed rambling about name and pronouns and gender feels below. ( Read more... )
I was going to write about 3 sentences to try and update and streamline my sticky post. Ha. Ha. Ha. I love you, folks. If you’ve read this far you get a virtual cookie.
ETA: Also please feel free to comment here, or on another post/comment from me, or message me, whenever, regarding any identity/name/pronoun stuffs you want me to do differently/better for you!!!
More detailed rambling about name and pronouns and gender feels below. ( Read more... )
I was going to write about 3 sentences to try and update and streamline my sticky post. Ha. Ha. Ha. I love you, folks. If you’ve read this far you get a virtual cookie.
ETA: Also please feel free to comment here, or on another post/comment from me, or message me, whenever, regarding any identity/name/pronoun stuffs you want me to do differently/better for you!!!
today walked to laurelhurst park, yesterday late to mt tabor
Afternoon:
Sunlight.
Flowers. Many flowers—
Pond. Ripples. Reflected trees. Duck.
Stop to rest—
Leathery shiny magnolia leaves. Cottonwood fluff. Buckshorn plantain stems to weave.
Evening:
Lavender scent and sticky resin. Globe alium in bud, bouncy texture like a kooshball covered in beads. Rhythmic tapping of running hand along a wrought iron fence.
Sunset at the reservoir. Purple fading clouds. Wind in tall grass and clover and weeds. Gray gritty graveled path. Pink-purple-gray reflection on the reservoir water still, and the greeny darkness of pine trees on the ridge. A cool breeze on a warm day; the open air in a high place.
Afternoon:
Sunlight.
Flowers. Many flowers—
Pond. Ripples. Reflected trees. Duck.
Stop to rest—
Leathery shiny magnolia leaves. Cottonwood fluff. Buckshorn plantain stems to weave.
Evening:
Lavender scent and sticky resin. Globe alium in bud, bouncy texture like a kooshball covered in beads. Rhythmic tapping of running hand along a wrought iron fence.
Sunset at the reservoir. Purple fading clouds. Wind in tall grass and clover and weeds. Gray gritty graveled path. Pink-purple-gray reflection on the reservoir water still, and the greeny darkness of pine trees on the ridge. A cool breeze on a warm day; the open air in a high place.
One of many things I like to look at are sunlit water ripples whether reflected off a lake/ocean/etc, refracted onto the bottom of a pool, or seen from underneath.
Here are some videos.
Sunlit Water Ripples
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9-R-
Ideas for audio or tactile-art or text-based equivalents for spangly ripples?
(So far I have thought of: the kind of fruit-based sorbet that is soft with crunchy frozen bits of fruit; the bubbles in ginger ale; the feeling of a vibrating massager on hands/fingertips or another sensitive but not private body part; the smell of fresh oranges; the sound of chimes.)
Here are some videos.
Sunlit Water Ripples
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9-R-
Ideas for audio or tactile-art or text-based equivalents for spangly ripples?
(So far I have thought of: the kind of fruit-based sorbet that is soft with crunchy frozen bits of fruit; the bubbles in ginger ale; the feeling of a vibrating massager on hands/fingertips or another sensitive but not private body part; the smell of fresh oranges; the sound of chimes.)
grrawarrowwrr
7 July 2017 20:39Complaining catperson complaining about things that could be worse, feel free to skip.
...
...
...
Body weirdness, brain weirdness, food issues, stress. ( Read more... )
(No thank you for 'have you tried this' type advice; sympathy welcome.)
I am going to hydrate with lots lots water and put Moana on (if I can figure out Netflix) and/or maybe soothing music, and set and alarm for tomorrow morning, and NOT do chores that require leaving my apartment for more than 5-minutes-ish. Because seriously f**k this.
...
...
...
Body weirdness, brain weirdness, food issues, stress. ( Read more... )
(No thank you for 'have you tried this' type advice; sympathy welcome.)
I am going to hydrate with lots lots water and put Moana on (if I can figure out Netflix) and/or maybe soothing music, and set and alarm for tomorrow morning, and NOT do chores that require leaving my apartment for more than 5-minutes-ish. Because seriously f**k this.
staying positive
7 July 2017 08:48Getting chores done.
Pleasant interactions with S in the evening, and getting to bed on time.
Smells of berries and apples.
The opportunity to take a shower.
Feeling okay at a range of temperatures.
(I'm annoyed at Things and ouchy and tired but I'm not going to let that stop me.)
Oh, and S made coffee yay!
Pleasant interactions with S in the evening, and getting to bed on time.
Smells of berries and apples.
The opportunity to take a shower.
Feeling okay at a range of temperatures.
(I'm annoyed at Things and ouchy and tired but I'm not going to let that stop me.)
Oh, and S made coffee yay!
good habits
6 July 2017 16:09Catalpa trees are blooming. They are huge green trees with huge green leaves and they get these enormous spikes of white flowers that aren't small y any means, and they smell sweet.
On my walk today I stopped by an archway in a fence entirely covered in masses of star jasmine. One of my favorite flower smells.
It's sunny, thank goodness.
I have cashews and berries to eat.
A neighbor was helpful to me, even though I've hardly ever spoken to him.
Crows are talkative and reasonable feathered folk, and their glossy black feathers are very beautiful.
On my walk today I stopped by an archway in a fence entirely covered in masses of star jasmine. One of my favorite flower smells.
It's sunny, thank goodness.
I have cashews and berries to eat.
A neighbor was helpful to me, even though I've hardly ever spoken to him.
Crows are talkative and reasonable feathered folk, and their glossy black feathers are very beautiful.
significant days
4 July 2017 18:14I don't have anything very coherent to say about the Fourth of July and what it means and has meant to me any why it is different for me this year and not-different for some other people and what else I'm thinking of because of that. So I'll let some friends have their say instead.
Babbling...I need to remember that the founding of the United States was definitely NOT an unmixed good for many people, especially the Native American nations that were decimated or genocided as colonial settlement. And some people are NOT okay with fireworks. And if there is a point to this line of thought, it's that this year things are definitely not improving and that's not okay. And that it is still true that this holiday is and has been important to me, and that I do still feel something like love and loyalty for my incredibly deeply awful nation.
If there is work to be done, let it be work that heals the world--
http://swan-tower.dreamwidth.org/
If we are to celebrate at all, let us all be allowed to celebrate--
http://stardreamer.dreamwidth.org/
And if the world is f****d anyway, then at least, be kind--
http://bookblather.dreamwidth.org/
Babbling...I need to remember that the founding of the United States was definitely NOT an unmixed good for many people, especially the Native American nations that were decimated or genocided as colonial settlement. And some people are NOT okay with fireworks. And if there is a point to this line of thought, it's that this year things are definitely not improving and that's not okay. And that it is still true that this holiday is and has been important to me, and that I do still feel something like love and loyalty for my incredibly deeply awful nation.
If there is work to be done, let it be work that heals the world--
http://swan-tower.dreamwidth.org/
If we are to celebrate at all, let us all be allowed to celebrate--
http://stardreamer.dreamwidth.org/
And if the world is f****d anyway, then at least, be kind--
http://bookblather.dreamwidth.org/
berry picking
4 July 2017 13:38Yesterday we went to Sauvie Island and picked berries at a U-Pick farm. My partner and I admired the distant peak of Mt Hood, the boats on the river, and the green and rolling fields on the way over, argued about driving, compromised, and got to the farm with plenty of water bottles and sunscreen. The strawberries were basically done; the blackberries and blueberries were just starting to come ripe; the raspberries were in their glory. The sky was blue and enormous and the sun was very bright and warm. A breeze off the river cooled the whole island. The cottonwood trees left drifts of fluff on the grass. Birds sat on stumps in the river and trilled in the grasses and copses. We picked, lazily enough, for several hours, and filled two pints of tart thumb-sized early blackberries, two of greeny-purple-tinged small blueberries each, and three of perfect raspberries. A few sun warmed deeply ripened little strawberries in the drying rows burst in our mouths. I had nothing but raspberries for lunch, and felt well content… I left an offering of a strand of beads to the great oak tree that watches over the farm, and I believe it was accepted.
Autistic people (and our brain-cousins) are overall better at making rationally consistent small choices without being pressured one way or the other by the informational context. Less integration of the overall 'look' of things, more clarity on detail. Local and global processing, I notice you.
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/
I'd say I'm an alien, given what I'm good and bad at, except that logically-inconsistent allistic-centered societies are rapidly trying to get themselves booted off Earth--
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/
I'd say I'm an alien, given what I'm good and bad at, except that logically-inconsistent allistic-centered societies are rapidly trying to get themselves booted off Earth--
Emergency mental grounding for self and partner in the middle of the night because shadows on the mind ate a very important word: the "it" in "I want to get it away from you."
Worked.
I even feel better myself, under the *giddy*.
However: I am not flight checked on this size of vehicle!
Worked.
I even feel better myself, under the *giddy*.
However: I am not flight checked on this size of vehicle!
More good things. (Because they are good, and because I’m still upset and need the discipline of identifying positives.) ( Read more... )
Many good things, yes, and one is having time to be here!
Many good things, yes, and one is having time to be here!
cut for sadmadcat swearing about things ( Read more... )
Okay. Deep breath. Good things.
It is a gorgeous sunny day with blue sky. And not too hot, amazingly!
I petted a cat and a catling on my walk, and photographed the catling and his shyer sibling while rassling, sunning, and chasing butterflies. Adorable x millions!
I feel physically good-ish, apart from being hungry, upset, tense, and something wrong with my shoulder - but I don't feel ill, which is good because it means I'm starting to get a handle on food and not-a-food. Also the stuff I put on bug damage seems to be helping. And I can have a shower when I want one. This is very good. And I am awake and not totally losing it or out of spoons. I'm ... not happy, but I'm not wrecked either. And I have water I can drink and food I can eat. That will do, dangit, because I'll make it do.
So many flowers in Portland, almost always! Roses are current, and many daisy-like things, and these enormous purple pointy flowers on vines.
You folks on the internet keep sharing lovely fiction and art and personal stories and virtual hugs, and it keeps me connected. Thanks.
Did I mention it is a really beautiful day?
Okay. Deep breath. Good things.
It is a gorgeous sunny day with blue sky. And not too hot, amazingly!
I petted a cat and a catling on my walk, and photographed the catling and his shyer sibling while rassling, sunning, and chasing butterflies. Adorable x millions!
I feel physically good-ish, apart from being hungry, upset, tense, and something wrong with my shoulder - but I don't feel ill, which is good because it means I'm starting to get a handle on food and not-a-food. Also the stuff I put on bug damage seems to be helping. And I can have a shower when I want one. This is very good. And I am awake and not totally losing it or out of spoons. I'm ... not happy, but I'm not wrecked either. And I have water I can drink and food I can eat. That will do, dangit, because I'll make it do.
So many flowers in Portland, almost always! Roses are current, and many daisy-like things, and these enormous purple pointy flowers on vines.
You folks on the internet keep sharing lovely fiction and art and personal stories and virtual hugs, and it keeps me connected. Thanks.
Did I mention it is a really beautiful day?
I’ve had a difficult day so far. (grief, death of a loved one, altered states of consciousness, minor injury) ( Read more... )
