alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Purpose:
I'm identifying and describing myself to make it easier for people to talk to me, for me to find community, to point out some common interests, to make it simpler for anyone who chooses to call me on blinkered or privileged thinking, and to avoid inadvertently misrepresenting myself. Because people do change over time, this post is also subject to change.

Names and Pronouns:
Please call me alatefeline on Dreamwidth. I prefer they/them pronouns. Read more... )

Regarding access and subscriptions: I subscribe to people's journals readily if I like reading stuff they post. Feel free to subscribe to mine or not as you like. Basically nothing on my journal is access locked, so please don't feel like it means much if I don't grant you access / accidentally hit the grant access button. I will update if and when this needs to change.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
At the moment I am grateful for:

Finding a place to go. Hanging in there. Surviving fear. Being stubborn. Caring.

Also for pagan carols, authors writing busily away, recycled paper bags on which I can make art, the fact that I washed the dishes, my loves and friends and family and friendly acquaintances and colleagues and mentors and kin, past and present and future, and the mad determination to keep the holidays whatever happens.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So I communicated and people were awesome and A Plan was made and an outing happened and it was really really good and I gauged my time and energy well and was barely anxious while out and about and am back now and have some peace and WHY AM I EMOTIONS AAAAAAAAH.

Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
school job Read more... )

Thank you kids, for breaking my heart and gluing it back together with your squashy little glue sticks, every darn day.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I got to pet SEVEN cats today. And to visually admire three more. KITTTIES!!!

Four cats on our morning walk. One was Neighbor Calico Cat. She was missing last week and she found her way home and is well and friendly and likes to trill at people until they pet her! One was Porch Cat. He sat in my lap and smooshed his head into my chest and purred at me and mwrowped when I had to put him back in his cat bed on the porch. One was a gray Persian mix (I think; he had the wrinkled-y skin and slightly curly long hair, but not the face) who dropped by on the sidewalk and gently bit my hand to critique my petting efforts but also purred at me. One was a plump orange tabby-pattern with the extra-furry cheeks like a lynx; he chewed on some yard plants instead while I was petting him. I think I may have met both of them before, but I'm not sure.

Two cats on the way over to a friend's place. One was a black cat sitting and watching her humans wash a car. She came over to say hi. One was a dark gray tabby-pattern sitting on top of a car. He deigned to descend as far as the back of the car to be petted.

One at AT said friend's place. He is gray with a white nose blaze and tummy and paws, he is an incredibly soft and fluffy longhair, he has a little bowtie on his collar, and he likes to sit on his cat-tree and dangle a paw over the edge. SOOOO FLUFFY.

...Oh, yeah, I was brave and socially competent and went to game day at M&AA's apartment and positively interacted with humans and played games. BUT ALSO THERE WERE KITTIES!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
This visual art is extremely beautiful and people who like realistically-detailed animals with a fantasy-art flavor and rainbowy colors and lovely fine lines and curves, and can see it on their computer screen, may want to go stare at it. And throw money at the artist if you can afford to, which right now is not me, but these are so shiny.

gray seal and dormouse and wild boar

Because it simply would not do to put pictures up without also putting up something on the audio and/or written sides, here is some audio:

The song entitled 'Gray Seal' (video component is the lyrics superimposed on the CD case):
on YouTube
musician

The sounds of an actual gray seal:
wildlife recording
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So! I am struggling, with some success and some lapses, to make productive-for-me use of this weekend. And as always, there are many wonderful things to be grateful for!

General update with less ranting, but still a fair amount of complaining, this time. Read more... )

Gratitudes:

“school_job" )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I'm thankful for you.

I'm thankful for the teachers who first gave me *real* history books to read. This USA holiday celebrates colonialist narratives that erase the genocide of Native Americans in favor of a caricature of everyone getting along, as well as some problematic. For all that, I'll still keep the holiday today, because it *also* means connecting to family, honoring the harvest of the land, and renewing traditions that help keep a warm light going during cold dark times.

I'm thankful for electric lights, a roof over my head in the rain, toothpaste and toothbrush, food to eat, clean water to drink, a bed with blankets to sleep warm, a heating pad to put on things that hurt, functional public transit, a personal support network that *can* cushion a crisis or an emergency, a computer and a phone that work, music to listen to and art to admire and stories to read.

I'm thankful that I'm not dealing with the terror of fascists running the USA alone.

I'm thankful that I am *able* to give thanks today. And I will give sweat and tears and blood to maximize the number of the folks I care for who are able to do it again in a year.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
There are many terrible things in the world. Art and music and story give me courage to go on. I’ll occasionally be posting about some of these, purely based on what I personally turn to. Explanations and supplemental research will be uneven, depending on what I feel up to. I’m not looking for simple comfort or for direct action, because I find those elsewhere too; but the arts, like few other things in life, have the depth of complex meaning to remind me how to hope.

These songs remind me that some of my own ancestors and distant kin fought for (what they saw as) freedom, and that dying on the losing side of a battle cannot take away the value of standing up for a cause. Pride in my heritage is complicated and doesn't come easily - in a sort of mirror image, neither does treasuring culturally important works that I find personally important but cannot in fairness claim - but these songs still strike a chord. That matters.


Rising of the Moon
audio in video format
audio in video format

The Foggy Dew
audio in video format

More Info: Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
major venting with attached anxiety and social issues, my anxiety-triggers e.g. people, phone, money, paperwork, chores, malfunctions, adulting, failing to adult, anxiety-fueled poor choices Read more... )

ETA: If you want to help please send cat pictures or similar.

ETA Again: Read more... )

Also, y'all are awesome. So many kitty pictures and kind words, I cannot even begin to thank you enough. The world is so awful lately and I am flat out of good responses but you remind me that it is worth resting and breathing and trying to FIND some. Thank you. THANK YOU.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So, today I’m attempting to compose my gratitudes (and, okay, yes, some venting) in actual sentences. (long, vent-y, noms) Read more... ) Also, and very importantly: This morning, I bought a complete stranger who looked cold a cup of coffee when I was getting mine. This afternoon, when I was the total stranger looking cold while standing under the rain at a bus stop, someone gave me an umbrella and said ‘I live across the street, bring it back whenever or keep it.’ Small things keep us all going.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Thanks: Con. Friends. Sleep. Help. Noms: Read more... ) Fic. Day. Soap. Leaves. Sky. Walk. Cat. PET PET PET PET.

Argh: ARGH! VER! *screams* *hides* Spoons? Ha.

Thanks friends. Thanks cats.

(All one word chunk, yes?)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am heading to Orycon now, if anyone would like to meet up. I'll be at mdlbear's concert at 1pm Sat, and around the rest of Sat, and I'll be back Sun. Please feel free to reply, and/or PM me if you want my wallet name / physical description. I'm wearing cat ears, a rainbow cap, a dinosaur T-shirt and a plaid long-sleeve shirt at the moment. :D

ETA: Everyone who likes fandom and/or music should listen to the shiny shiny filk people who were there. And watch [personal profile] solarbird perform live in stompy kaiju slippers, this is AMAAAAAZE.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Talking Action: A Haiku Duo

Acting adult is
actually, yes, awful —
and yet, amazing:

at an extreme of
angsty anger - oh. Asking:
“Hey. Are you okay?”
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Politics adjacent; political; fictional, politics adjacent, on sensitive topics for trans folk and (current and former) uterus-havers; nature-y and insect adjacent; lastly (and not under cut) KITTANS.

Thanks to dialecticdreamer, ysabetwordsmith, randomling, umadoshi, conuly and others who put up the links and the original writing that I end up spending far too much time reading.

Read more... )

Livestream of kittens 24/7, by an adoption charity. (Both color and black-and-white video, no significant audio, no text or captions, sadly.)

>> Mmmmrrrpfprrt? <<

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPv9yKC76hE
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Open prompt call, topic: anything that is annoying to bigots, especially representation in speculative fiction; also, companion animals apparently. I don't know the writers but I'm excited to have stumbled on this!

https://dreamwriters.dreamwidth.org/34371.html
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I wrote a bit of self-care advice to myself in the form of a series of haiku. Comments of all sorts (except the jerk sort), including constructive criticism, are welcome. CW: food, home remedies, mention of sources of stress, mention of death of animals, didactic tones (it's not that scary, but I wanted to be through). Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
A is for Audre Lorde, a poet who gives us strength

Read more... )

Z is for Zoo Animals, a perennial favorite of children
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So...I'm really not okay now. But I shall be ... enough to be going on with.

CW: bad brain, self-harm, strong language Read more... )

I'm choosing to focus on things I'm grateful for anyway.

CW: food, interpersonal dynamics, healthcare mentions Read more... )

In conclusion, please, give someone a little love tonight, whether that is you or your pet, the family you choose or the community that calls to you, someone online or someone offline, a friend or a stranger.

And know that I am grateful for you. Even if you've never commented, I am grateful that people care enough to read this; I write it first for me, second for the people I talk to, but thirdly, for anyone who may someday stumble on it and nod and say, "Oh, okay, that's a thing that happens." Which - it is. Whatever strange experience you have had, is valid. Whatever story you have to tell, is worth telling. Whatever emotion you feel, is important. Whatever choice you make, matters. Whatever cause you stand up for, matters, even if we never see how or why.

The person who invented the hand-ax never saw a computer. And neither did her friend who told her, "Hey, it's okay, I really liked that one you made a few days ago, keep trying." And I know that person existed. I know that someone was there to hear, as well as tell, the first stories. To grind the pigments for the first communal cave painting. To bring water, maybe in cupped hands or hollow shells or a leaf basket breaking as it was used, to the mouth of the child who would grow up to build the first ceramic pot. So if you have encouraged someone - your loves, your passing acquaintances, even yourself - and told them not to give up, you are as heroic in my books as the people who kept the first hearth burning. Because that, my friends, *is* keeping the flame alive.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
It has been expressed to me that people need MOAR FUZZEH NAMINALS under the circumstances. This is a mission I can handle right now. This is one way to help my community. This is … cute fuzzies! Hopefully with enough different formats and species that everybody can appreciate something. I used species I saw at the zoo recently as my inspiration. Read more... )

So that’s it for now. If folks appreciate this, I’ll try to post more like it soon; I’ve dreadfully neglected amphibians, reptiles, and invertebrates. There’s a lot more I could add, but it takes time to sort through things and I wanted to get something up sooner rather than later.

Footnotes: Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today we went to Washington Park, to the zoo and the arboretum. We almost canceled our ‘adventure’ for the weekend under the circumstances, and I’m very glad we didn’t. There is healing in doing something different and deeply engaging, especially when it involves connecting to nature. (Feel free to ask me about your favorite species mentioned (or not) below.) Read more... )

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