alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
[personal profile] alatefeline
Content Warnings: dying, life and death questions, medical details, family stress, kids

After breakfast at the lodge with Dad, spent the day and evening basically at uncle&aunt&cousin’s house. Made some food, washed some dishes, accidentally let the dog loose (for the second time, because I failed my common sense check) and scared one of the cats - a neighbor & dear friend of aunt’s returned him. Spent a long time playing with cousin - bouncing on the trampoline, running in circles, fighting kaiju trees, chatting with a friendly Baby Godzilla-saur in the shape of a stick, building a spider city with rocks and sticks, pouring water in a hole and building a bridge to be knocked over by swamp monsters, and on and on - and eventually helped my Dad get him settled for bed. I went out briefly to go grocery shopping with Neighbor around midday. My Dad went out in the afternoon to arrange hotel rooms for my mother and my sibling, who are meeting at sibling’s home in east coast big city and driving up tomorrow. My aunt went out in the evening to get a massage treatment - on top of everything else, she is in pain from endometriosis and sciatica - and take a walk. She came back sobbing because on the radio she heard the first song she and uncle danced to at their wedding. Gods, I remember that joyful wedding, six years ago, at the same lodge we’re staying now. And aside from one flying visit just for family dinner, that’s the last time I was here.

Uncle is … sleeping. Not responsive any more. His breathing is a bit more labored. Somewhere between days to weeks and hours to days, symptom wise. He doesn’t seem to be in pain or anxious any more. He no longer swallows liquids, since just earlier this week, so he's getting just a little water and medications through a feeding tube, and oxygen with a nasal cannula. I sat with him sometimes, and told him about the day and how wonderful his son is. I think, I hope, he knows we’re here.

Selfishly - I wish I’d gotten here just one or two days earlier, in time to speak to him. I wish I’d come sooner, gods! But I’m glad. I’m glad, because though he’s slept since we’ve been here, the last time he woke, the day before he came, it was just long enough to tell his wife how much he loves her. There is so much love in that house. That’s what breaks through and lets me cry; not the pain, but the love.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 03:30 (UTC)
ghoti: fish jumping out of bowl (Default)
From: [personal profile] ghoti
continued <3 to you and yours
Edited (typofail) Date: 25 Jun 2017 03:31 (UTC)

Date: 25 Jun 2017 03:37 (UTC)
antisocialite_forum: A group of small round pumpkins in a very green pumpkin patch (Pumpkin Patch)
From: [personal profile] antisocialite_forum
*hugs*

- Gourmand

Date: 25 Jun 2017 08:55 (UTC)
sweet_sparrow: Picture of two cats lying back-to-back with two black spots connecting to make a heart. (E: Heart)
From: [personal profile] sweet_sparrow
*good thoughts* I'm pretty sure most people will agree with me when I say: please don't worry about the comments/us. <3 Focus on your family. *sends love*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 04:21 (UTC)
leecetheartist: A lime green dragon head, with twin horns, and red trim. Very gentle looking, with a couple spirals of smoke from nose. (Default)
From: [personal profile] leecetheartist
Love to you all.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 06:11 (UTC)
finch: (Default)
From: [personal profile] finch
I hear you, and you continue to be in my thoughts. <3

Date: 25 Jun 2017 06:18 (UTC)
sholio: sun on winter trees (Default)
From: [personal profile] sholio
*hugs*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 06:24 (UTC)
From: [personal profile] chalcedony_px4

We hope you get through the things

Our hands are typing words

don't know what we're talking about. everything is kinda

anyway, things. we would share some tea but our last mug is gone. we can make you some tea in a stainless steel thing and then put some insulating thing around it so you don't burn your paws maybe.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 08:41 (UTC)
desertroot: Agave - a smooth and spiny desert plant with wildflowers growing in front (Default)
From: [personal profile] desertroot
*continued offer of hugs and cat cuddles*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 09:21 (UTC)
cmcmck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cmcmck
Hugs.

Had the same experience with my MiL a few years back and I know it's not easy.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 10:36 (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
Their kid sounds amazing.

It seems a gift to both of them to have family near.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 14:29 (UTC)
lavendertook: (paws holding finger)
From: [personal profile] lavendertook
*hugs*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 15:45 (UTC)
sylvaine: Dark-haired person with black eyes & white pupils. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sylvaine
Oh geez *hugs everyone there*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 16:25 (UTC)
kyleri: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kyleri
*hugs* *tea* *knitted shawl of whatever weight is appropriate to weather*

Date: 25 Jun 2017 18:24 (UTC)
sinisterporpoise: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sinisterporpoise
I'm so sorry

Date: 25 Jun 2017 20:39 (UTC)
thnidu: warm red heart on orange streaked background (heart)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
PM sent last night.

Date: 25 Jun 2017 22:56 (UTC)
vladdraculea: Photo of two flower pots with a variety of little flowers (Vlad)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea
💜*sends silk-dragon cuddles for somber kitty*💜

— Vlad

Date: 25 Jun 2017 22:56 (UTC)
sebenikela: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sebenikela
<3 <3 <3

(no response needed just sending lots of love your way)

Date: 26 Jun 2017 01:04 (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox
That's what made me cry at Undertale's ending. The stark contrast between cosmic / personal horror, and just unbelievable gentleness / kindness. It was like a reminder that love is still good and important, even in a cruel and unfair world.

May your tears be healing, and may you get the love and support that you need. Also, lots of soft tissue.

*leaves hugs here for you when you need them*

Date: 26 Jun 2017 02:06 (UTC)
lassarina: I'm not coming out until the stupid people have gone away.  ....I can wait all day. (Default)
From: [personal profile] lassarina
sending love your way. (no response needed.)

Date: 26 Jun 2017 02:46 (UTC)
mdlbear: (rose)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear
*hugs* - thinking of you always.

Date: 26 Jun 2017 05:29 (UTC)
fyreharper: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fyreharper
<3<3

Date: 6 Jul 2017 01:01 (UTC)
johnpalmer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] johnpalmer
Keep in mind it's the love that makes you cry - there's beauty in that, and it's important.

Losses hurt, but this kind also show us what life is about, what it's *for*. The losses still hurt but the love can still be held to and cherished.

Your uncle knew you loved him and probably sensed your return, and your love, when you were there.

Personally, I'd also challenge that idea that wanting to speak with him was selfish. (I'm not saying I'd say you're wrong - just that I'd challenge it.) It sounds like you wanted to give as well as receive and that you rightfully thought a chance to see you would be happy-making for him.

I'm sorry for your uncle and the pain that accompanies his dying. But I'm also a bit awed by the love and the meaning.

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alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
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