alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
[personal profile] alatefeline
Content Warnings: dying, life and death questions, medical details, family stress, kids

After breakfast at the lodge with Dad, spent the day and evening basically at uncle&aunt&cousin’s house. Made some food, washed some dishes, accidentally let the dog loose (for the second time, because I failed my common sense check) and scared one of the cats - a neighbor & dear friend of aunt’s returned him. Spent a long time playing with cousin - bouncing on the trampoline, running in circles, fighting kaiju trees, chatting with a friendly Baby Godzilla-saur in the shape of a stick, building a spider city with rocks and sticks, pouring water in a hole and building a bridge to be knocked over by swamp monsters, and on and on - and eventually helped my Dad get him settled for bed. I went out briefly to go grocery shopping with Neighbor around midday. My Dad went out in the afternoon to arrange hotel rooms for my mother and my sibling, who are meeting at sibling’s home in east coast big city and driving up tomorrow. My aunt went out in the evening to get a massage treatment - on top of everything else, she is in pain from endometriosis and sciatica - and take a walk. She came back sobbing because on the radio she heard the first song she and uncle danced to at their wedding. Gods, I remember that joyful wedding, six years ago, at the same lodge we’re staying now. And aside from one flying visit just for family dinner, that’s the last time I was here.

Uncle is … sleeping. Not responsive any more. His breathing is a bit more labored. Somewhere between days to weeks and hours to days, symptom wise. He doesn’t seem to be in pain or anxious any more. He no longer swallows liquids, since just earlier this week, so he's getting just a little water and medications through a feeding tube, and oxygen with a nasal cannula. I sat with him sometimes, and told him about the day and how wonderful his son is. I think, I hope, he knows we’re here.

Selfishly - I wish I’d gotten here just one or two days earlier, in time to speak to him. I wish I’d come sooner, gods! But I’m glad. I’m glad, because though he’s slept since we’ve been here, the last time he woke, the day before he came, it was just long enough to tell his wife how much he loves her. There is so much love in that house. That’s what breaks through and lets me cry; not the pain, but the love.
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alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)

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