alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
[personal profile] alatefeline
Today I am grateful for:

- rereading the Toby Daye books

- lots of new nonfiction books

- coffee, meds, food I know is okay, sunlight, naps, all the things that help me feel functional

- shiny objects like metal washers that are just there waiting for someone to pick them up and polish them and make treasures

- a partner who loves me and pets me when I just want to lie there and be a flat cat

Slight case of brainweasels and fwump:
Tomorrow I want to: actually do the things that need to get done WITHOUT sending my anxiety through the roof. I don't know why I didn't do the things, and now it's night.

Also, seaweed snacks (with sunflower oil and salt) are Not A Food, and I need to wear gloves when doing craft projects involving metal shavings or rust. Bleh.

But on the exciting side, yesterday I did a thing with a new person and a person I know, and Wednesday I also have plans, so I am actually sort of succeeding at peopleing a bit!

Maybe I should just go to sleep? But I'm not sure I can fall asleep, because having done very little all day and not currently being acutely fatigued, I'm not sleepy, dammit. I want to have done things but I don't want to do things.

This is clearly not working. I should get a book and try to wind down and go to bed early, and have an alarm set. And leave a note for S.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:17 (UTC)
desertroot: Agave - a smooth and spiny desert plant with wildflowers growing in front (Default)
From: [personal profile] desertroot
<3

Shiny things are always nice!

And nice people! Including a alatefeline!

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:19 (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
*hugs?*

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:25 (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Good plans. I copy plans :P

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:29 (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Sleep well

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:41 (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Hot is a plausible explanation, and valid excuse, for lack of oomph, yes.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 05:12 (UTC)
kyleri: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kyleri
Hot makes All the THings harder.

hot summer days (and nights)

Date: 25 Jul 2017 22:35 (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Default)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
Hot is enervating. I find that when the inside temperature gets above about 78F, my brain all but ceases to function. Cold is usually easier to deal with, because I'm almost always in range of more layers, or blankets, or such, so I'm not *stuck* with cold. Hot, OTOH, is usually much tougher to mitigate.

One of the few things that does work for me, in the absence of air conditioning, is to get a t-shirt medium wet (more than damp, less than soaking wet) with cold water, put it on, then sit in front of a room fan. The moving air plus evaporative cooling helps a lot. Repeat as necessary until (after) sunset, when the temperature may get down to something reasonable.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 12:11 (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
Like, I don't get *why* I have to go get out of the apartment before noon if I'm going to get out or it becomes increasingly harder even if it doesn't seem that there is any particular *reason* I'm not going out, but I somhow don't?

Daylight? Specifically, blue light, as from blue sky. The stuff helps us wake up, or makes it hard for us to get to sleep. That's why I stay off my laptop after midnight, and if I'm using my smartphone I turn on a blue light filter.

So when you get up, open your curtains/blinds and
"Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in,
The sunshine in!"

Date: 25 Jul 2017 18:50 (UTC)
thnidu: winged staff with two serpents coiled around it (caduceus)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
I'm glad it helps at least a bit, and not surprised that it's not the whole thing.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:54 (UTC)
umadoshi: (hands full of light and water (roxicons))
From: [personal profile] umadoshi
Good luck with the doing-of-things tomorrow! I hope the anxiety stops pestering you.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 04:56 (UTC)
antisocialite_forum: A group of small round pumpkins in a very green pumpkin patch (Default)
From: [personal profile] antisocialite_forum
>> a partner who loves me and pets me when I just want to lie there and be a flat cat <<

That actually sounds *really* relaxing...

>> so I am actually sort of succeeding at peopleing a bit! <<

\o/ People! Plans! These are good things. :)

>> But I'm not sure I can fall asleep, because having done very little all day and not currently being acutely fatigued, I'm not sleepy, dammit. I want to have done things but I don't want to do things. <<

Oh gods. I know those feels. I usually have enough drive to work that I start doing something *automatically* if I have the energy for it, but it's not always something that I *need* to have done.

Unfortunately I don't know how to make it settle down other than waiting for the mood for sleep. :/ Chamomile tea is worth a try if you have any and it's an okay food.

It sounds like you've done a lot today, fwiw, even if it's not as much as on other days. Some things take more energy. And it's okay to have extra when you're done for the day, just like it's okay to take it easy once and a while. From what I've heard you've been dealing with a lot of stress, so I'd say a light day is due. As long as you're happy about what you *did* get to do, I'd count it as a success.

- Nico

perspectives

Date: 25 Jul 2017 22:46 (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Default)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
> I am absurdly lucky. We aren't perfect together, nor are we everything to one another,

In my view, both of these are Good Things. I don't believe that any one person can be or should try to be "everything" to/for another person. Since adopting the worldview that life is better with a larger supporting cast, my circumstances have improved immensely.

> but what we are is very awesome and makes me feel so safe and loved. I wish that everyone who wants this could have this.

That you feel safe and loved is wonderful! That you wish the same for others is very sweet. I echo both the statement and the wish.

*hugs*

Date: 25 Jul 2017 05:14 (UTC)
kyleri: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kyleri
Yay shiny things!

Yay petting!

Yay peopleing!

These are Good Things. <3

Are you by chance on the Twittars?

Date: 25 Jul 2017 17:59 (UTC)
kyleri: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kyleri
The Twittars are indeed very zoom & that can be a not good thing. I mostly like it cos that's where my people are & it is not the Book of Faces.

I use Flickr for putting my photos online but mostly for me that's a backup & a place to link to them. One of my twitter friends does use it to store his photos but that's not what it's _for_, there's no photo organizey stuff there.

Date: 26 Jul 2017 05:31 (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox
Seconding the Flickr recommendation. You should be able to use it for image hosting, I think? And it has better sorting / sharing features than DW. It's also superb for nature photos.

Date: 25 Jul 2017 07:10 (UTC)
cmcmck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cmcmck
They're not?

Who knew? :o)

Date: 25 Jul 2017 11:40 (UTC)
rootsofthestories: A woman wandering into the forest (Default)
From: [personal profile] rootsofthestories
*offers hugs and and cool liquids* I'm still waking up so I don't have much else to say but <3 Lots and lots of <3

Date: 25 Jul 2017 13:30 (UTC)
elinox: (Books by iikhushi86ii)
From: [personal profile] elinox
I read the first Toby Daye book and thought it was okay. I assume, with 10 books in the series, the writing improves? I do love the author's InCryptid series though so maybe I should give Toby another try?

Date: 25 Jul 2017 18:12 (UTC)
elinox: (Books by iikhushi86ii)
From: [personal profile] elinox
That's sort of what I figured about the series getting better the farther in you get, mostly since there's a lot of them now. ;)

Thanks. Do you think I should re-read the first one or just read the summary if want to I try book #2?

Date: 25 Jul 2017 23:52 (UTC)
bethany_lauren: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bethany_lauren
HUUUUUGS

Date: 26 Jul 2017 00:06 (UTC)
vladdraculea: Julia set fractal with Ace and Arrow Pride colors, black, grey, white, green, and purple (Ben)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea
This heat isn't wonderful, I gotta say, and it's not even that hot up here. I think it may be our chemical menopause, though.

Anyway, I know what you mean about not being able to get to stuff you've been wanting (not just needing) to get to, despite not having anything obviously amiss (like having a cold or having just used up all spoons for the week on a big project, etc.).

— Ben

Date: 26 Jul 2017 03:20 (UTC)
vladdraculea: Julia set fractal with Ace and Arrow Pride colors, black, grey, white, green, and purple (Ben)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea
Yes to both! It's sometimes way easier for us to get stuff done when there's someone around, especially if we're working together on something.

— Ben

Date: 26 Jul 2017 05:32 (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox
It is okay to ask what sort of project-y things you've been working on?

Also, have some hugs and encouragement!

Date: 27 Jul 2017 16:11 (UTC)
johnpalmer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] johnpalmer
Your mentioning of doing things without anxiety going through the roof reminded me of my readings in acceptance and commitment therapy.

The basis of it is, accept where you are now. Don't try to *not* be what you are. If you're going to be nervous going into a supermarket, even at a time where few people are in there, accept that, in part, because *trying* not to be anxious going into the supermarket puts memory of anxiety, and thoughts of anxiety, in your brain.

(I'm not suggesting you have agoraphobia - I'm throwing out one of the examples I've seen used in the writings.)

Accept it, and learn to deal with it. If generic-you start to have a panic attack, use whatever tools you've developed getting through it. Learn new tools, too, if you can.

That's the acceptance part. You're now freeing yourself of the fear of your condition. That doesn't mean it won't affect you any more, but it means you're not quite as paralyzed by "what *if* this triggers anxiety?" (for example).

Then commitment is the part where you figure out what you want to do in life that makes you happy. Now, figure out how you can do this - which means some trial and error. The person who can't go to a supermarket even with very few people present might find smaller trips are better, or, a single, long, have-a-list, get-it-out-of-the-way trip is better. Or they might have to hire or befriend someone who can help them.

It's an interesting set of ideas, and I think it can be helpful for a lot of people with a lot of issues.

(This isn't me offering helpful advice this time - I'm just babbling about something that came to mind. Feel free to ignore all of this. Not that you needed *my* permission :-) .)

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alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
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