alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Grapes and figs and apples and berries fruiting in my neighborhood.

Feeling well enough physically to go do things outside. Feeling better mentally after going outside.

A long walk and a quick bus ride.

Photographs of bunnies courtesy of https://kaberabbits.tumblr.com/.

A cool breeze. The weather generally relenting a bit.

Views of Mt. Hood from the slopes of Mt. Tabor.

An enormous fallen tree covered in moss and the saplings growing out of it.

Getting my brain to be a notch or two quieter by writing and walking.

Sitting in the sunshine surrounded by tall grass and listening to birds and squirrels.

Taking photographs of assorted trees and flowers.

My stuffed animal friend Bunbun that I have had since I was born. (Technically before. Bunbun was given to my mom at a baby shower while she was pregnant with me.)

A shower.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Air conditioning. Running water. Freezers. Water bottles.

Food I can eat. Fresh fruit in particular.

Medication that helps me breathe and medication that helps me remember why.

Friends I can spend time with. Thank you.

The ability to buy a cold drink and a snack (and an excuse to sit in air conditioning).

Bookstores. Clever new (and old!) sf&f books that interrogate the problems of the genre with deep love and rightful anger and snarky humor. Used books. Sale books. Read-it-all-and-put-it-back-but-I’m-gonna-need-to-buy-a-copy-to-re-read books.

Instant access to information and communication via the Internet.

Trees. Thank you, trees.

Pillows.

Ceiling fan.

Views of the sun and the moon, however, hazy.

Things that smell of mint (or catnip!)

The coffee ice cubes turning out to be tasty.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I think I will go curl up in a corner at the home of a friend with air conditioning. Or the bookstore. It's okay now, but the hazy smoke from forest fires affecting air quality is gonna get worse and the heat is going to be record-breaking. Can't even *go* places to beat the heat because it's too hot and smoky.

I know I know it could be worse. I could be in the hospital because of the smoke, or trying to cope without even an apartment to stay at, or much more sensitive to heat than I am, or living someplace much hotter, or in one of the places actually on fire, or or or... This still sucks!

ETA: I can taste the smoke in the back of my throat though it's still only 85. Going down the street to the grocery and bookstore; will be out indefinitely. Bringing compy obvs.

ETAA: I can handle the heat but not the CAN'T BREATHE gods. Considering falling asleep in a corner between bookshelves in the air conditioned store. Even if everyone else from MTG night who was interested bails I'm driving up Mt. Hood tomorrow. This is NOPE.

*gives everybody limeade and wet handkerchiefs*
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
yay I have survived day 1 of Over 100 Degrees Fahrenheit Without AC

mostly by being Not at Apartment

it is now less than 95 I feel so comfy

(send ice cubes)

ETA:

Me: contemplates kitchen which is at least kept up with dishes but otherwise feh and decides nope not cooking a thing
Next Me: eats a cereal thing for dinner
Still Me: notices recent-ish pot of coffee gone cold
Also Me: notices emptied ice-cube tray
Madscientist Me: I WILL MAKE COFFEE ICE CUBES FOR TOMORROW
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
This afternoon I went to the Sandy River.

Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
today walked to laurelhurst park, yesterday late to mt tabor

Afternoon:

Sunlight.

Flowers. Many flowers—

Pond. Ripples. Reflected trees. Duck.

Stop to rest—

Leathery shiny magnolia leaves. Cottonwood fluff. Buckshorn plantain stems to weave.

Evening:

Lavender scent and sticky resin. Globe alium in bud, bouncy texture like a kooshball covered in beads. Rhythmic tapping of running hand along a wrought iron fence.

Sunset at the reservoir. Purple fading clouds. Wind in tall grass and clover and weeds. Gray gritty graveled path. Pink-purple-gray reflection on the reservoir water still, and the greeny darkness of pine trees on the ridge. A cool breeze on a warm day; the open air in a high place.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I don't have anything very coherent to say about the Fourth of July and what it means and has meant to me any why it is different for me this year and not-different for some other people and what else I'm thinking of because of that. So I'll let some friends have their say instead.

Babbling...I need to remember that the founding of the United States was definitely NOT an unmixed good for many people, especially the Native American nations that were decimated or genocided as colonial settlement. And some people are NOT okay with fireworks. And if there is a point to this line of thought, it's that this year things are definitely not improving and that's not okay. And that it is still true that this holiday is and has been important to me, and that I do still feel something like love and loyalty for my incredibly deeply awful nation.

If there is work to be done, let it be work that heals the world--
http://swan-tower.dreamwidth.org/816536.html

If we are to celebrate at all, let us all be allowed to celebrate--
http://stardreamer.dreamwidth.org/1626774.html

And if the world is f****d anyway, then at least, be kind--
http://bookblather.dreamwidth.org/431734.html
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Yesterday we went to Sauvie Island and picked berries at a U-Pick farm. My partner and I admired the distant peak of Mt Hood, the boats on the river, and the green and rolling fields on the way over, argued about driving, compromised, and got to the farm with plenty of water bottles and sunscreen. The strawberries were basically done; the blackberries and blueberries were just starting to come ripe; the raspberries were in their glory. The sky was blue and enormous and the sun was very bright and warm. A breeze off the river cooled the whole island. The cottonwood trees left drifts of fluff on the grass. Birds sat on stumps in the river and trilled in the grasses and copses. We picked, lazily enough, for several hours, and filled two pints of tart thumb-sized early blackberries, two of greeny-purple-tinged small blueberries each, and three of perfect raspberries. A few sun warmed deeply ripened little strawberries in the drying rows burst in our mouths. I had nothing but raspberries for lunch, and felt well content… I left an offering of a strand of beads to the great oak tree that watches over the farm, and I believe it was accepted.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
More good things. (Because they are good, and because I’m still upset and need the discipline of identifying positives.) Read more... )

Many good things, yes, and one is having time to be here!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
cut for sadmadcat swearing about things Read more... )

Okay. Deep breath. Good things.

It is a gorgeous sunny day with blue sky. And not too hot, amazingly!

I petted a cat and a catling on my walk, and photographed the catling and his shyer sibling while rassling, sunning, and chasing butterflies. Adorable x millions!

I feel physically good-ish, apart from being hungry, upset, tense, and something wrong with my shoulder - but I don't feel ill, which is good because it means I'm starting to get a handle on food and not-a-food. Also the stuff I put on bug damage seems to be helping. And I can have a shower when I want one. This is very good. And I am awake and not totally losing it or out of spoons. I'm ... not happy, but I'm not wrecked either. And I have water I can drink and food I can eat. That will do, dangit, because I'll make it do.

So many flowers in Portland, almost always! Roses are current, and many daisy-like things, and these enormous purple pointy flowers on vines.

You folks on the internet keep sharing lovely fiction and art and personal stories and virtual hugs, and it keeps me connected. Thanks.

Did I mention it is a really beautiful day?
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
yes I am going to portland pride probably today and tomorrow

I have decided I will top off whatever comfy clothes I end up wearing with scarf layers in purple white and green, because

when exactly will depend on scheduley things like partner getting her meds and also how much my shoulder is hassling me today etc

if we know each other and you are in Portland please feel free to PM me for my phone number for texts; however I may well be too overwhelmed to actually check it once I leave the apartment so caution is advised

i will drop by dw sometime tonight and tomorrow night so folks know I am still here
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Quick good things from the last week or so, no order:

Garden plot, and things sprouting and growing.

People who stop to help strangers.

Guinea pig cuddle-squeaks.

Sunlight and finally being warm enough.

Access to water in some situations where it could've easily been unavailable.

... State of the me: still very stressed and exhausted, but hanging in there; good things help. And so do you; thanks for reading.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Hey! I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm more or less working on some things that will help with various things. Also some good things because Spring!

Context & Bad Things: Friday I commented a bit about being really miserable. A Bad Thing happened at school, and I was processing that. Read more... )

Good Things:

The plum, apple, and cherry trees are in full magnificent blossom here in Portland, with pear and crab-apple still in bloom but starting to drop petals and leaf out. There's that particular intense reddish pink that I want to call cherry-candy-colored but it is historically older and prettier than cherry candy! Sunrise cloud red-pink?

S and I are struggling with some communication with each other - I miss her nonverbal signals; she has a hard time finding the spoons to verbal at me - but we're very aware of it and love each other a lot and are working on it, and I think we made progress talking and listening before she needed to go to work. Progress is good!

I have discovered the Everything Croissant. You know all those seeds and spices and onion bits and more seeds you get on a good savory Everything Bagel? Try those swirled into a croissant with extra butter, and shaped like a giant muffin of croissant-y tastiness for extra silliness.

We got our community garden plot assignment at last! Payment, required training and volunteer hours, first day to weed and turn over, details of commute, and deal between me and S on who does what still to be worked out, but WE GOT ONE YAAAAAAY! And okay, it is far away, but still YAY GARDEN.

I have actually seen the sun at least briefly more days than not this past week.

One of my school kiddoes LOVES the sensory activity kit I put together for her and it is also helping with eliciting some spontaneous oral language stuff. Other stuff is complicated but hey smile of pure joy on little kid's face after squishing a squeezy toy and ringing a little silver bell = YES. Also several students keep giving me dandelions to wear at recess, so I do. <3



I have some time and some energy now and will try to go do some things accordingly.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
If you are like me, April Fool's Day never made much sense, and people were not kind about it. This will be a safe spot away from that if I can manage it. I like holidays, I like humor, I like Spring, I do NOT like non-consensual teasing and pranking.

Following meme modified from [personal profile] bookblather
Okay, folks. As April first is Saturday, I hereby pledge not to post any pranks, jokes, false links, or screamers. Nothing originating on this blog will be a prank or deliberately incorrect. If I re-post or link to other people’s pranks, which I may, they will be clearly marked so you don't click on them and think they're real.

No direct links to howling horribleness, and no 'alternative facts', will ever purposefully appear on this blog. If one does, it's a hack or something changed, or I messed up; please let me know immediately so I can fix it.

Stay safe out there, my dears! We non-pranksters have got your back.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
cut for length; contains positives including food, self-care, and moments at the school job
Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Grateful that (feelings, people, animals, and things including food)...Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
It's a forty-five minute walk, probably more like an hour with ice, to pick up my package at FedEx. Buuuuut after looking at the news I *really* dunwanna drive (cut for length) Read more... )

ETA: I did the thing! Successfully!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Oh my god tomorrow is going to be the fourth snow day this WEEK. I mean, I know it's a once-in-thirty-years kinda snow but ARE THERE NO SNOWPLOWS in the entire state?
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I made cookies! Yay! Aaaaugh my brain! But, yay cookies!

(Food, recipes, holiday making, family angst, arguing with my own brain…)

Read more... )

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