alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So to provide a little more context for my last post…

CW: discussion of death and dying, major illness, family ties, travel uncertainty

Read more... ) Neighbor crow, I am listening. Uncle, I love you.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Good corner for composting, useful earthworms, access to comfrey leaves, and good soil. I have already composted and harvested and spread compost from a batch of weeds I pulled when I got the plot in April; it is ridiculously quick. Slugs tho ... I'm ambivalent about slugs.

Working water tap and hose are not far from bed. Toolshed is very convenient (right across path!) and contains some useful tools including larger items I couldn't really realistically buy. Usable porta-potty outside garden gate. Parking nearby. Picnic table under fig tree that is great for climbing. Great set-up, some issues but really good features.

Mostly polite neighbors in the other community beds, speaking at least 4 different languages.

Plants growing at the moment: pole beans, bush beans, tomatoes, corn, radishes, chamomile, lemon cucumber, melon, kale, chard, last year's mystery brassica going to seed, thyme, spinach shoots, garlic, strawberries, basil, basil, oregano, kinnikinnick, stevia, one tiny carrot leaf in the whole row, maybe more strawberries.

Already harvesting: radish thinnings, snips of thyme, foraged greens from neighboring untended beds, and STRAWBERRIES OM NOM.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today I held two cockatiels and petted three cats, including one who is basically a silken sofa cushion and who lets the birdies perch on him.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Quick good things from the last week or so, no order:

Garden plot, and things sprouting and growing.

People who stop to help strangers.

Guinea pig cuddle-squeaks.

Sunlight and finally being warm enough.

Access to water in some situations where it could've easily been unavailable.

... State of the me: still very stressed and exhausted, but hanging in there; good things help. And so do you; thanks for reading.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Hey! I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm more or less working on some things that will help with various things. Also some good things because Spring!

Context & Bad Things: Friday I commented a bit about being really miserable. A Bad Thing happened at school, and I was processing that. Read more... )

Good Things:

The plum, apple, and cherry trees are in full magnificent blossom here in Portland, with pear and crab-apple still in bloom but starting to drop petals and leaf out. There's that particular intense reddish pink that I want to call cherry-candy-colored but it is historically older and prettier than cherry candy! Sunrise cloud red-pink?

S and I are struggling with some communication with each other - I miss her nonverbal signals; she has a hard time finding the spoons to verbal at me - but we're very aware of it and love each other a lot and are working on it, and I think we made progress talking and listening before she needed to go to work. Progress is good!

I have discovered the Everything Croissant. You know all those seeds and spices and onion bits and more seeds you get on a good savory Everything Bagel? Try those swirled into a croissant with extra butter, and shaped like a giant muffin of croissant-y tastiness for extra silliness.

We got our community garden plot assignment at last! Payment, required training and volunteer hours, first day to weed and turn over, details of commute, and deal between me and S on who does what still to be worked out, but WE GOT ONE YAAAAAAY! And okay, it is far away, but still YAY GARDEN.

I have actually seen the sun at least briefly more days than not this past week.

One of my school kiddoes LOVES the sensory activity kit I put together for her and it is also helping with eliciting some spontaneous oral language stuff. Other stuff is complicated but hey smile of pure joy on little kid's face after squishing a squeezy toy and ringing a little silver bell = YES. Also several students keep giving me dandelions to wear at recess, so I do. <3



I have some time and some energy now and will try to go do some things accordingly.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
This week, starting Wednesday-ish, has been completely messed up by things at School Job spilling over to home.

I have not done much by way of writing, or creative other things, or chores, or socializing, or indeed functioning. Aside from a fair amount of laundry because of Reasons.

I have, however, read several books. If you have not already done so, go check out RoAnna Sylver, Lois McMaster Bujold, Catherynne M. Valente, Nalo Hopkinson, and/or Kij Johnson all of whom are on balance very good and enjoyable authors for me to read. I'm either intrigued or guiltily pleased but not 100% convinced by Nisi Shawl, Ada Palmer, Charles Stross, John Scalzi, M.C.A. Hogarth, Michael Swanwick. I am angry at Becky Chambers because I wanted to like the book, which had many good points, and then something very Not Okay was treated as a Good And Right thing.

ETA: STUFF under cut, see tags:
Read more... )

That's all for now.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
cut for length; contains positives including food, self-care, and moments at the school job
Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
It's a forty-five minute walk, probably more like an hour with ice, to pick up my package at FedEx. Buuuuut after looking at the news I *really* dunwanna drive (cut for length) Read more... )

ETA: I did the thing! Successfully!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I appear to be teaching myself how to put pictures on Dreamwidth by way of Imgur. This pleases me, as spontaneous nature photography is a way I feel connected to the beauty of the world.

Picture and suchRead more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
test two three four

Picture under cut Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Plush octopus.

Fixed car.

Homemade bread.

Hot drinks.

Sunny cold.

Cozy radiator.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So...I'm really not okay now. But I shall be ... enough to be going on with.

CW: bad brain, self-harm, strong language Read more... )

I'm choosing to focus on things I'm grateful for anyway.

CW: food, interpersonal dynamics, healthcare mentions Read more... )

In conclusion, please, give someone a little love tonight, whether that is you or your pet, the family you choose or the community that calls to you, someone online or someone offline, a friend or a stranger.

And know that I am grateful for you. Even if you've never commented, I am grateful that people care enough to read this; I write it first for me, second for the people I talk to, but thirdly, for anyone who may someday stumble on it and nod and say, "Oh, okay, that's a thing that happens." Which - it is. Whatever strange experience you have had, is valid. Whatever story you have to tell, is worth telling. Whatever emotion you feel, is important. Whatever choice you make, matters. Whatever cause you stand up for, matters, even if we never see how or why.

The person who invented the hand-ax never saw a computer. And neither did her friend who told her, "Hey, it's okay, I really liked that one you made a few days ago, keep trying." And I know that person existed. I know that someone was there to hear, as well as tell, the first stories. To grind the pigments for the first communal cave painting. To bring water, maybe in cupped hands or hollow shells or a leaf basket breaking as it was used, to the mouth of the child who would grow up to build the first ceramic pot. So if you have encouraged someone - your loves, your passing acquaintances, even yourself - and told them not to give up, you are as heroic in my books as the people who kept the first hearth burning. Because that, my friends, *is* keeping the flame alive.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today we went to Washington Park, to the zoo and the arboretum. We almost canceled our ‘adventure’ for the weekend under the circumstances, and I’m very glad we didn’t. There is healing in doing something different and deeply engaging, especially when it involves connecting to nature. (Feel free to ask me about your favorite species mentioned (or not) below.) Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Remember, taking care of oneself, of loved ones, and of other vulnerable people is a way of fighting back. Identifying things that go right and feel good builds mental and emotional strength and resilience.

Some good things in the last day or so (includes food, beverages, sleep issues, school job, political action, books): Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
A few brief gratitudes; no day is without things to be grateful for, however small.

When I began driving home today (post Daylight Savings time) the snowy heights of Mt. Hood were dim blue-silver above slopes of deep blue-lavender only a shade darker than, and merging into, the twilight sky.

And after I parked my car, yellow leaves crunched under my foot as I walked the block or so home with a hazy half-moon above in the darkened sky, and a breeze with just an edge of chill rustled through the faint cool of a mild fall evening.

<3 Love to everyone, and I hope we'll be all right on Wednesday.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
New books read and enjoyed recently. Sorcerer of the Wildeeps, Kai Ashante Wilson. Penric’s Mission, Lois McMaster Bujold. And many more, but those are recent and I can manage to be organized enough to remember titles and such. I think. (ETA: Nope, but I fixed it.)

A slight change to my route home means that on sunny days I routinely get a really good view of the snowy, gleaming, light-draped slopes of Mt. Hood, with or without cloud caps higher up. Gorgeous!

A chance to catch my breath, in a couple of different forms (a no-kids work day at School Job; the weekend here at home; extra sleep.)

Writing ideas. Not sure if I’ll find the energy to make them actually *happen* but it’s nice to know my brain isn’t permanently flattened, just (surprise!) out of cope when I run it to “there is no spoon” over and over during the work week. Last week was marginally less stressful, yay. And so my brain began dropping bits of character dialogue for fanfics and things. Is a happy and I refuse to make it a worry because creative thinking is good even if it is quite distinct from creative production. Also my response to “where is the good fanfic for this show?” is “I guess I can try to write some when I have time” which … I like that response and want to encourage it.

You. Yes you. People who post things I like to read and/or read things I post. You make my life better.

Also, belatedly: Toasting ‘absent friends’ with S on Samhain. We may not have a lot of time but we can for gods’ sake observe the wheel turning. And Dia de los Muertos related art and discussions with kids about remembering the good things at school!

Tired but pleased. Hanging in there. Would like brownie points from the universe for not going splat but recognize I have to give them to myself (and to friends with even more splat-worthy days than I have). Oh and no more daylight savings time will prrrrrobably help me for a week or so, because whyyyyy dark whyyyyyyyyy. Oh! And pizza!

ETA: And coffee and sunbeams and walkies and kitties and dogs. <3
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Happy fall! Happy Hallowe'en to those celebrating the USA National Cosplay & Candy Night. A blessed Samhain to those observing the occasion.

Some good things recently...

Food, school job, some body stuff under cut: Read more... )

People who will squee about fandom with me and people who will also point out problematic stuff in said fandom, especially when those are the same people.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Yesterday I got to pet one of my neighborhood kitty-cats. Bobtail Kitty is grayish-brownish tabby on top and white on his fuzzy belly. When I walked by his house, he came running off the porch to greet me. It was sunny so he sprawled on the sidewalk and let me rub his tummy, scratch his ears, and pet his back. I noticed that his white fur is like snow, sparkling bright white with regular patterns of faint shadow, and the black barring of his tabby pattern on his back had a rainbow sparkle where the fine hairs diffracted sunlight. He went in circles head butting me and getting chin scratches for a bit, and I got him to stand on my lap and purr for a bit, and then he chewed gently on my hand for a minute to let me know we were done. Dawww.

Length, noms, minor brain and body stuff Read more... )

ETA: More kitties, more body-communication actually working, more yay!

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