alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Air conditioning. Running water. Freezers. Water bottles.

Food I can eat. Fresh fruit in particular.

Medication that helps me breathe and medication that helps me remember why.

Friends I can spend time with. Thank you.

The ability to buy a cold drink and a snack (and an excuse to sit in air conditioning).

Bookstores. Clever new (and old!) sf&f books that interrogate the problems of the genre with deep love and rightful anger and snarky humor. Used books. Sale books. Read-it-all-and-put-it-back-but-I’m-gonna-need-to-buy-a-copy-to-re-read books.

Instant access to information and communication via the Internet.

Trees. Thank you, trees.

Pillows.

Ceiling fan.

Views of the sun and the moon, however, hazy.

Things that smell of mint (or catnip!)

The coffee ice cubes turning out to be tasty.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today's gratitudes:

Friends. I'm terrified to admit it, but I have an online community I turn to for support, a family that appreciates me, local folks to hang out with - yay! - which is really strange, interests that help me to interact socially, a fair grasp of what I want and need relationshipwise and a good chunk of it already happening, some peers I like at my job, and a chance at not completely sucking at all of that.

Liminal spaces. I walked across a bridge that is currently closed and a construction site because they are rebuilding it. I stood in the exact middle of the closed highway at the high point of the bridge, in the sun and wind and strangeness of it all, and took pictures of the river and the distant Mt. Hood. I saw exposed metal grids and bizarre pipes and joins being installed and slabs of wood and rusty bolts apparently uninstalled. I collected scraps of metal. I mean to send them, at least some, to [personal profile] kyleri to make shiny things out of them! (If you haven't yet, and you like hand crafted jewelry and/or crap free body products, check out [personal profile] kyleri's website, http://thevagabondtabby.com/ and if you want a picture description for anything I will provide...) I went up and down two sidewalk Bridges to Nowhere littered with sad and awful trash to get between diverging lanes as what seemed like the far side of the bridge, but wasn't, as the wide roadway heaved itself up and over the railroad tracks and fell down into the withering industrial southeast riverside under the hot sun.

Swearing, brainweasel bait: Read more... )

The opportunities I've had of late to geek out, particularly including talking writing with [personal profile] alexseanchai, theology with offline friend ALB, and Magic: the Gathering with my partner S.

Wifi in coffee shops. And iced minty green tea.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I recycled some papers I needed to get rid of.

I will see some people I like tonight... and... I saw two(ish) new friends yesterday.

I got new books yesterday.

The sun shining.

Water.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today I am grateful for:

- rereading the Toby Daye books

- lots of new nonfiction books

- coffee, meds, food I know is okay, sunlight, naps, all the things that help me feel functional

- shiny objects like metal washers that are just there waiting for someone to pick them up and polish them and make treasures

- a partner who loves me and pets me when I just want to lie there and be a flat cat

Slight case of brainweasels and fwump: Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Petted FOUR cats on neighborhood walk this morning. Porch Cat, Calico Neighbor Cat, the little bitty mostly-white calico who seems to be their neighbor and rival, and a black and slightly-tuxedo cat out for a walk with his person.

Did a bit of chores of the paperwork-y sort, and communicated reasonably well with S about chores’n’stuff.

Sent my sibling B a picture of me with my genderqueer-flag-striped cat-face button!

Today met up with the excellent [personal profile] kengr at Powell’s City of Books in the afternoon. We had a great conversation. Hooray for people I like to talk to actually living somewhere nearish! Did not buy ALL the things though I was tempted. Also I got a couple of books by C.J. Cherryh, who is a very good writer. Mwahahaha.

Had a great walk. [Content note: Exercise, food, brain weirdness, body weirdness] Read more... )

Found some things that might could be useful while walking. Made tentative plans/options for hopefully-productive tomorrow.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Things which have, today, delighted me:

Improvements in my overall mental and physical functioning of late; most especially, the energy to do small practical things and random acts of kindness without nearly always stalling out somewhere between the idea and the result.

People being happy about things I have said and done for them or for the world in general: an online friend who got a package, a physical-space neighbor who is possibly on the way to being an actual friendly acquaintance, a partner who gave & got help, listening, and smiles, a passerby who called us superheroes for putting out a smoldering leaf pile where someone had tossed a cigarette.

Petting numerous cats. So many! So fluffy! So purr! 3 of 4 cat sightings successfully negotiated to pets on my morning walk, plus 1 kitty this evening on the way back from the car. Cats yesterday, too!

Our garden plot. The shade of the central fig tree is extraordinarily peaceful. In various plots, there are strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries in some stage of bearing fruit. In our plot, we have lots of herbs, lots of things growing that aren’t harvestable at the moment, and a tremendous bumper crop of green beans! I am managing - so far - to handle totally-reasonable-in-origin worries about watering enough, weeding enough, and logging required community service hours despite the entirely unreasonable level of anxiety the provoke. With the rich compost that I nurtured on my shovel and the herbs that I grew in my mouth and the sun on my back and the wind on my face, it’s pretty doable.

Dreamwidth, and the community I find there. Thanks.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
You can call me alatefeline.

More detailed rambling about name and pronouns and gender feels below. Read more... )

I was going to write about 3 sentences to try and update and streamline my sticky post. Ha. Ha. Ha. I love you, folks. If you’ve read this far you get a virtual cookie.

ETA: Also please feel free to comment here, or on another post/comment from me, or message me, whenever, regarding any identity/name/pronoun stuffs you want me to do differently/better for you!!!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
home safe* in Portland now

*(for values of ‘safe’ which include ‘while not personally and immediately menaced at this time, live in a dystopian country run by fascists and could therefore be in terrible trouble at a moment’s notice’)

good weekend

thank you hosts, thank you filkers, thank you friends, thank you fandom

very tired, work tomorrow, will update again when awake and have words

Have new sign off (thank you m'lady of filksign):

Remember: Resist.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
To everyone who was confused or surprised by where I am this weekend, my apologies. Next time I will try to provide more information before I go someplace that I might well run into some people I know on here. If I’ve failed to connect your face, your face name, and your online presence, my apologies; it takes a minimum of six or seven distinct interactions before I manage to start reliably linking any of that together. It also helps if I manage to know what my actual plans for going to and staying at a place are before I get there. *facepalm*
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
If you've been reading and commenting for awhile, I probably consider you a friend.

(If you've just started reading my journal in the last day or week or month, I hope we become friends.)

If you are or will be in the vicinity of Portland, OR, USA and want to interact, please drop me a comment or a message here on DW. I'm not *great* at people but y'all are definitely worth trying for.

Thanks.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
In this entry, I process some bad news about family. Content warnings: illness, dementia, coming to terms with death. I will go on myself, but hugs are appreciated. Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
At the moment, I am grateful for numerous things.

Cool people to hang out with, online and offline, who have enough in common with me to be empathetic and enough differences from me to be exciting. A broad, variable band that partly depends on how far *they* will push their comfort zone and how far *I* will, but one that does exist and is significant. Also, the fact that I explicitly chose, and pushed myself, and asked for help in achieving, and was aware of strategies for, getting to know the communities (DW, gaming group, etc) and modes of social interaction that are currently happening in my life; I did the work and it is mostly working.

Kittycat socks.

Noms and sips. Physical self-care. Movement practice. Read more... )

Plans that capitalize on rather than trying to get around my preference for having functional routines.

Stories and poems and songs, oh my!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I made cookies! Yay! Aaaaugh my brain! But, yay cookies!

(Food, recipes, holiday making, family angst, arguing with my own brain…)

Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Long Night here. (Long day in the southern hemisphere.)

Grateful for you all.

Yule Blessings; may the coming year hold much of cheer, may the sun come around again with us all wiser but not too much sadder. Happy early Christmas, or Chanukah, or any holiday you celebrate. If it is Summer Solstice for you, enjoy the turn towards Fall. If it is Winter, as it is for me, then I hope your skies are clear and that you have the chance to (literally or figurateively) light a beacon, see the stars bright in the greater Night, sing a round, plant a seed for the coming Spring.

It's cold and dark out there; I'm so glad we have each other. Friends, kinfolk, strangers chance met, even enemies if you will put enmity aside. You are welcome by my fireside.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
At the moment I am grateful for:

Finding a place to go. Hanging in there. Surviving fear. Being stubborn. Caring.

Also for pagan carols, authors writing busily away, recycled paper bags on which I can make art, the fact that I washed the dishes, my loves and friends and family and friendly acquaintances and colleagues and mentors and kin, past and present and future, and the mad determination to keep the holidays whatever happens.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I got to pet SEVEN cats today. And to visually admire three more. KITTTIES!!!

Four cats on our morning walk. One was Neighbor Calico Cat. She was missing last week and she found her way home and is well and friendly and likes to trill at people until they pet her! One was Porch Cat. He sat in my lap and smooshed his head into my chest and purred at me and mwrowped when I had to put him back in his cat bed on the porch. One was a gray Persian mix (I think; he had the wrinkled-y skin and slightly curly long hair, but not the face) who dropped by on the sidewalk and gently bit my hand to critique my petting efforts but also purred at me. One was a plump orange tabby-pattern with the extra-furry cheeks like a lynx; he chewed on some yard plants instead while I was petting him. I think I may have met both of them before, but I'm not sure.

Two cats on the way over to a friend's place. One was a black cat sitting and watching her humans wash a car. She came over to say hi. One was a dark gray tabby-pattern sitting on top of a car. He deigned to descend as far as the back of the car to be petted.

One at AT said friend's place. He is gray with a white nose blaze and tummy and paws, he is an incredibly soft and fluffy longhair, he has a little bowtie on his collar, and he likes to sit on his cat-tree and dangle a paw over the edge. SOOOO FLUFFY.

...Oh, yeah, I was brave and socially competent and went to game day at M&AA's apartment and positively interacted with humans and played games. BUT ALSO THERE WERE KITTIES!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I'm thankful for you.

I'm thankful for the teachers who first gave me *real* history books to read. This USA holiday celebrates colonialist narratives that erase the genocide of Native Americans in favor of a caricature of everyone getting along, as well as some problematic. For all that, I'll still keep the holiday today, because it *also* means connecting to family, honoring the harvest of the land, and renewing traditions that help keep a warm light going during cold dark times.

I'm thankful for electric lights, a roof over my head in the rain, toothpaste and toothbrush, food to eat, clean water to drink, a bed with blankets to sleep warm, a heating pad to put on things that hurt, functional public transit, a personal support network that *can* cushion a crisis or an emergency, a computer and a phone that work, music to listen to and art to admire and stories to read.

I'm thankful that I'm not dealing with the terror of fascists running the USA alone.

I'm thankful that I am *able* to give thanks today. And I will give sweat and tears and blood to maximize the number of the folks I care for who are able to do it again in a year.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
major venting with attached anxiety and social issues, my anxiety-triggers e.g. people, phone, money, paperwork, chores, malfunctions, adulting, failing to adult, anxiety-fueled poor choices Read more... )

ETA: If you want to help please send cat pictures or similar.

ETA Again: Read more... )

Also, y'all are awesome. So many kitty pictures and kind words, I cannot even begin to thank you enough. The world is so awful lately and I am flat out of good responses but you remind me that it is worth resting and breathing and trying to FIND some. Thank you. THANK YOU.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am heading to Orycon now, if anyone would like to meet up. I'll be at mdlbear's concert at 1pm Sat, and around the rest of Sat, and I'll be back Sun. Please feel free to reply, and/or PM me if you want my wallet name / physical description. I'm wearing cat ears, a rainbow cap, a dinosaur T-shirt and a plaid long-sleeve shirt at the moment. :D

ETA: Everyone who likes fandom and/or music should listen to the shiny shiny filk people who were there. And watch [personal profile] solarbird perform live in stompy kaiju slippers, this is AMAAAAAZE.

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