alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am SO PROUD of my kindergarteners. Today they graduated to first grade! I cried of course. I got lots of hugs and some really sweet reactions/recognition from parents. And I am SO READY for it to be summer - these couple of days of clean up and professional development cannot go fast enough. And, thankfully, there WILL BE summer meals at school, and summer activities. And we got a lot done! And they have grown so much. Oh my gods. *sniff*
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Argh continues argh. Car thing. Insurance thing. Work thing. Long term thingy things. Health thing. Apartment thing. Much stress grumble grumble, must remember to sleep and food and relax on the regular while trying to do things. Me continues hanging in there. May you all have the bestest kittysnuggles or equivalent. I cannot grammar. Loveses you all.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Hey! I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm more or less working on some things that will help with various things. Also some good things because Spring!

Context & Bad Things: Friday I commented a bit about being really miserable. A Bad Thing happened at school, and I was processing that. Read more... )

Good Things:

The plum, apple, and cherry trees are in full magnificent blossom here in Portland, with pear and crab-apple still in bloom but starting to drop petals and leaf out. There's that particular intense reddish pink that I want to call cherry-candy-colored but it is historically older and prettier than cherry candy! Sunrise cloud red-pink?

S and I are struggling with some communication with each other - I miss her nonverbal signals; she has a hard time finding the spoons to verbal at me - but we're very aware of it and love each other a lot and are working on it, and I think we made progress talking and listening before she needed to go to work. Progress is good!

I have discovered the Everything Croissant. You know all those seeds and spices and onion bits and more seeds you get on a good savory Everything Bagel? Try those swirled into a croissant with extra butter, and shaped like a giant muffin of croissant-y tastiness for extra silliness.

We got our community garden plot assignment at last! Payment, required training and volunteer hours, first day to weed and turn over, details of commute, and deal between me and S on who does what still to be worked out, but WE GOT ONE YAAAAAAY! And okay, it is far away, but still YAY GARDEN.

I have actually seen the sun at least briefly more days than not this past week.

One of my school kiddoes LOVES the sensory activity kit I put together for her and it is also helping with eliciting some spontaneous oral language stuff. Other stuff is complicated but hey smile of pure joy on little kid's face after squishing a squeezy toy and ringing a little silver bell = YES. Also several students keep giving me dandelions to wear at recess, so I do. <3

I have some time and some energy now and will try to go do some things accordingly.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
This week, starting Wednesday-ish, has been completely messed up by things at School Job spilling over to home.

I have not done much by way of writing, or creative other things, or chores, or socializing, or indeed functioning. Aside from a fair amount of laundry because of Reasons.

I have, however, read several books. If you have not already done so, go check out RoAnna Sylver, Lois McMaster Bujold, Catherynne M. Valente, Nalo Hopkinson, and/or Kij Johnson all of whom are on balance very good and enjoyable authors for me to read. I'm either intrigued or guiltily pleased but not 100% convinced by Nisi Shawl, Ada Palmer, Charles Stross, John Scalzi, M.C.A. Hogarth, Michael Swanwick. I am angry at Becky Chambers because I wanted to like the book, which had many good points, and then something very Not Okay was treated as a Good And Right thing.

ETA: STUFF under cut, see tags:
Read more... )

That's all for now.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
cut for length; contains positives including food, self-care, and moments at the school job
Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I’m grateful for:

favorite CDs


sunset clouds

Internet access

Food, bodywork, school job: Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
school job: Read more... )

very pleasant social time with some newer friends who are actually local and share many common interests

positive interactions with S, who had a day off
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am grateful for:


chamomile tea


electric pencil sharpeners that actually work

clear lane striping and signage



ETA: Also for people who offer hugs when my day was not good. It was not good. But I am still grateful for good things. Including me being stubborn, which doesn't always help but it got me through some stuff.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today was hard, so some good things:
(Usual taggy things:) Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, I’m doing New Month Resolutions. I think this is preferable because setting a personal goal for one month lets me assess and redirect. This gives me the opportunity to go from beginning to end in a short enough time frame to think through each day and week of working with that goal, to diagnose what helped and what didn’t help. It means that if I meet my goal, I can set a new goal that build on it, or turn to another area. If I don’t meet my goal, I can reframe it, or focus elsewhere for awhile. I can do each of these several times, if necessary. By the end of the year, I should hopefully have twelve interesting experiments in hacking my own brain to achieve things.

Read more... )

I sort of had to reinvent the wheel on this one, because I needed it to be *my* wheel. In spite of having awesome examples of people who set goals, meet goals, fall short of goals and reassess, and set new goals in front of me literally every day. Read more... )

Apparently for a lot of people, breaking a goal down exhaustively for how to do it and measure it isn’t strictly required. Read more... )

For January, my resolution is a daily writing goal.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
After school activities canceled on Wednesday; good thing too, it took three hours to drive home. Schools closed because of weather on Thursday. Schools closed on Friday, no reason given ... so, all of a sudden, it's winter break!
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Plush octopus.

Fixed car.

Homemade bread.

Hot drinks.

Sunny cold.

Cozy radiator.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
school job Read more... )

Thank you kids, for breaking my heart and gluing it back together with your squashy little glue sticks, every darn day.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So! I am struggling, with some success and some lapses, to make productive-for-me use of this weekend. And as always, there are many wonderful things to be grateful for!

General update with less ranting, but still a fair amount of complaining, this time. Read more... )


“school_job" )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So, today I’m attempting to compose my gratitudes (and, okay, yes, some venting) in actual sentences. (long, vent-y, noms) Read more... ) Also, and very importantly: This morning, I bought a complete stranger who looked cold a cup of coffee when I was getting mine. This afternoon, when I was the total stranger looking cold while standing under the rain at a bus stop, someone gave me an umbrella and said ‘I live across the street, bring it back whenever or keep it.’ Small things keep us all going.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So...I'm really not okay now. But I shall be ... enough to be going on with.

CW: bad brain, self-harm, strong language Read more... )

I'm choosing to focus on things I'm grateful for anyway.

CW: food, interpersonal dynamics, healthcare mentions Read more... )

In conclusion, please, give someone a little love tonight, whether that is you or your pet, the family you choose or the community that calls to you, someone online or someone offline, a friend or a stranger.

And know that I am grateful for you. Even if you've never commented, I am grateful that people care enough to read this; I write it first for me, second for the people I talk to, but thirdly, for anyone who may someday stumble on it and nod and say, "Oh, okay, that's a thing that happens." Which - it is. Whatever strange experience you have had, is valid. Whatever story you have to tell, is worth telling. Whatever emotion you feel, is important. Whatever choice you make, matters. Whatever cause you stand up for, matters, even if we never see how or why.

The person who invented the hand-ax never saw a computer. And neither did her friend who told her, "Hey, it's okay, I really liked that one you made a few days ago, keep trying." And I know that person existed. I know that someone was there to hear, as well as tell, the first stories. To grind the pigments for the first communal cave painting. To bring water, maybe in cupped hands or hollow shells or a leaf basket breaking as it was used, to the mouth of the child who would grow up to build the first ceramic pot. So if you have encouraged someone - your loves, your passing acquaintances, even yourself - and told them not to give up, you are as heroic in my books as the people who kept the first hearth burning. Because that, my friends, *is* keeping the flame alive.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Remember, taking care of oneself, of loved ones, and of other vulnerable people is a way of fighting back. Identifying things that go right and feel good builds mental and emotional strength and resilience.

Some good things in the last day or so (includes food, beverages, sleep issues, school job, political action, books): Read more... )


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