alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Still present. Staying with things. Uncle slept all day, is declining, no longer able to drink liquids. Aunt got out of the house for a few hours while we (Dad and I) were there. Cousin age 5 is a handful and a delight. We fought many monsters, took the dog for a walk, and ate gorilla food (gorilla munch brand corn pop cereal, yogurt, sliced fruit). At lodge to rest now. I am sad and not okay, but I am okay with not being okay, and I am here.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So to provide a little more context for my last post…

CW: discussion of death and dying, major illness, family ties, travel uncertainty

Read more... ) Neighbor crow, I am listening. Uncle, I love you.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
traveling tomorrow

serious illness in extended family

hugs welcome
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
yes I am going to portland pride probably today and tomorrow

I have decided I will top off whatever comfy clothes I end up wearing with scarf layers in purple white and green, because

when exactly will depend on scheduley things like partner getting her meds and also how much my shoulder is hassling me today etc

if we know each other and you are in Portland please feel free to PM me for my phone number for texts; however I may well be too overwhelmed to actually check it once I leave the apartment so caution is advised

i will drop by dw sometime tonight and tomorrow night so folks know I am still here
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
If you are like me, April Fool's Day never made much sense, and people were not kind about it. This will be a safe spot away from that if I can manage it. I like holidays, I like humor, I like Spring, I do NOT like non-consensual teasing and pranking.

Following meme modified from [personal profile] bookblather
Okay, folks. As April first is Saturday, I hereby pledge not to post any pranks, jokes, false links, or screamers. Nothing originating on this blog will be a prank or deliberately incorrect. If I re-post or link to other people’s pranks, which I may, they will be clearly marked so you don't click on them and think they're real.

No direct links to howling horribleness, and no 'alternative facts', will ever purposefully appear on this blog. If one does, it's a hack or something changed, or I messed up; please let me know immediately so I can fix it.

Stay safe out there, my dears! We non-pranksters have got your back.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am at my parent’s home, my childhood home, in Kansas City, cleaning out my closet and bedroom. About sixteen large boxes of papers to go thru, ranging from elementary on up thru grad school, much of it sorted repeatedly but all still needing reorganizing and tossing of much of it, but not all - I refuse to toss everything. Lots of fun going thru memories; avoiding ruminating on change, loss, etc so far. Joy in noticing continuities and recovering old creative work. I was very prolific with poetry, sketching, world-building, and childish short stories! Need to tap back into some of it and keep going. Feeling strange but overall positive at this point. Just shy of halfway of a first pass thru all the boxen, getting rid of obvious junk only.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
To everyone who was confused or surprised by where I am this weekend, my apologies. Next time I will try to provide more information before I go someplace that I might well run into some people I know on here. If I’ve failed to connect your face, your face name, and your online presence, my apologies; it takes a minimum of six or seven distinct interactions before I manage to start reliably linking any of that together. It also helps if I manage to know what my actual plans for going to and staying at a place are before I get there. *facepalm*
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I made cookies! Yay! Aaaaugh my brain! But, yay cookies!

(Food, recipes, holiday making, family angst, arguing with my own brain…)

Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
I am heading to Orycon now, if anyone would like to meet up. I'll be at mdlbear's concert at 1pm Sat, and around the rest of Sat, and I'll be back Sun. Please feel free to reply, and/or PM me if you want my wallet name / physical description. I'm wearing cat ears, a rainbow cap, a dinosaur T-shirt and a plaid long-sleeve shirt at the moment. :D

ETA: Everyone who likes fandom and/or music should listen to the shiny shiny filk people who were there. And watch [personal profile] solarbird perform live in stompy kaiju slippers, this is AMAAAAAZE.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Today we went to Washington Park, to the zoo and the arboretum. We almost canceled our ‘adventure’ for the weekend under the circumstances, and I’m very glad we didn’t. There is healing in doing something different and deeply engaging, especially when it involves connecting to nature. (Feel free to ask me about your favorite species mentioned (or not) below.) Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Arrival. At last. Awkward. Awesome. Antlers.
Birds. Barnacles. Beginnings. Backtracking.
Creek. Coast. Coffee. Conversation. Comparisons.
Departures. Differences. Driving. Dogs. Driftwood.
Elk.
Forest. Fog. Family.
Gas stations. Greetings. Gulls. Green land. Golden light. Grilled cheese.
Haystock Rock. Hera of my heart. Hugs.
Interesting. Intriguing.
Juice.
Kingfisher.
Lunch. Looming landscape.
Mist. Morning. Mussel shell. Mystery.
Not sure. Necessary. Novelty. Nuance.
Ocean. Outdoors. Out of bounds.
Paths. Pelicans. Petting. Photography.
Questions. Queerness.
Rain. Route. Road. River. Running.
Sand. Surf. Seaside. Shells. Sand dollars. Splash. Swim. Sunset. Sunburn (ouch).
Tide. Tidal pools. Tourist town. Tsunami evacuation route. Trees.
Uncertainty.
Walking. Wading. Wet.
Yawns. Yards. Yearning. Yes.
Zephyrs. Zoonosis (hopefully not). Zest for life.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
The Columbia Gorge is truly one of the most beautiful places on Earth.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
This is brief, though I have more on the topic. For explanation, suffice it to say that I have driven to and from my new workplace for three days now, plus errands and meals in the area of my workplace, and I have gotten lost, at least to the extent of taking a couple of wrong turns and needing to check a map, *every single trip.* And I'm not bothered by that. Read more... )
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Day trip to the beach. Drove both ways. Actual details when not experiencing giggle fits from exhaustion.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Went to Tualatin River National Wildlife Refuge for the afternoon yesterday. It is a bit of fairly flat land on the (surprise) Tualatin River, which is a smallish river that feeds into the Willamette River (rhymes with dammit) and thence into the Columbia River and the Pacific. It’s surrounded by mostly farmland and is reclaimed farmland in the process of being restored to wetland with native species. There were lots and lots of birds, though none of the rarer species allowed us a particularly close view. There was something furry and brown and very fast; there was a big frog relaxing in an algae-covered pond. There are meadows, groves of deciduous trees, hills with large conifers, a wide expanse of wetland that is mostly grassy plants with a few sizable ponds at this time of year, shallow streams, and distant views including farmland and suburbs but also wooded hills and Mount Hood. We (partner S and I) didn’t quite get away from the sound of traffic or the sight of people, but for trying to pick a place with restrooms, under-five-mile trails, and a short drive to get there, it was a really good try. There were far more than five shiny things, but I’ll list a sampling here.

* Blackberries! They are an invasive species. This is problematic, but it means as long as we stay on the trail there is ZERO guilt associated with eating all we can grab. There were literally millions of blackberries in view, with thickets the size of houses, and many were perfectly ripe. I must have eaten over two pints. (For those of you accustomed to sensible measurements, Read more... )) OM NOM NOM NOM BLACKBERRIES. Afterwards we were puzzling over the fact that neither of us had a headache, since even though we were pretty good about water, food, sunscreen, hats, and so on we rather expected one of us would have issues, and we decided to credit it to the healthful effects of dozens and dozens of blackberries.

* Ducks! At this time of year here, adorable fluffy ducklings have converted into adorable mini-ducks, and many ducks and geese are testing their flapping post mounting and breeding to see if they can get airborne yet. We came across several mama and/or papa ducks resting on the bank while their offspring swam around aimlessly and flapped occasionally, and two ducklings cuddling with their heads resting on each other’s backs while napping in the grass. Mallards, so they are mottled brown but the adult females have a bright blue patch and the males seasonally (but not now) turn really colorful.

* Herons and/or egrets! We saw, from a distance, several birds of this general conformation, tow dark colored and medium large, one white and very large. Time to Google species.

* Oaks! We observed one truly mighty spreading oak tree, and a whole meadow of younger trees deliberately planted by conservationists. Weird interspecies relationships: Read more... )

* Colorful noisy birds I have no idea how to identify! One loud little bird perched on a loop of blackberry stem and sang over and over. It was barely bigger than a hummingbird, with an iridescent greenish-blue head, otherwise brownish, but it wasn’t a hummingbird. Another little rust-colored bird with a red and black head hopped around in a shadow on the path and vanished into the bushes. There were many many flickers of flying movement and songs we had no chance at identifying except “I don’t think I know what that is.” We also saw some Steller’s Jays and robins.

* Bonus Shiny Thing: While standing in the forest by a creek listening for birds, I was able to stand truly still and open ALL my senses and it wasn’t painful. I don’t think I’ve been able to deliberately listen and look and feel with every sense I have and take in and think about all the information and have it be all neutral or positive for … months. Getting to where the nearest traffic is miles away made a big difference. Being in a place and a situation - listening and being still to understand wildlife - where hyper-acute senses and focus and calm were assets was … amazing. I think in another age people like me would have been amazing gatherers, herbalists, hunters, trackers, so many skills that are less needed now when the ability to ignore the hell out of things has to be everyone’s number one skill not to suffer from just living with all the other people and machines around. I am at my best - one of my bests - in wilderness.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
Anybody going to be at Westercon 69 in Portland this weekend? Please say hi.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
On Friday I went and played some Magic: The Gathering at a gaming store. Now this game is fun in its own right but it is also an addictive, wallet-devouring, commercial machine, like so many fan activities. But the people can be fun. I gravitated to the femme and/or female folk present (likeyado, when you are potentially going to be Guyed at otherwise) and tested the waters by mentioning I was going to Pride the following day, and got positive reactions. Also a spontaneous hug request from someone there for a completely different game who liked my hat. That was fun.

On Saturday I went to Pride. Since the organized public geek and queer communities are both larger and more accepted here than in KC, there might be less overlap, but I definitely was not the only person wearing ears, which I count as at least marginally geektastic whatever else it may be. In addition to what I have posted about, I got to give some honest compliments and have them accepted (I think) as actual compliments on the fabulousness of attire rather than disguised come-ons or one-upmanship, which is an experience sadly lacking in the mainstream social groups I've encountered.

On Sunday I stayed in. I did NOT do things. I was a pretty flattened cat. Please don't mistake me for someone who normally has A Social Life. But I did post online, and an awesome person (Ysabetwordsmith) wrote a poem in part from one of my prompts, and I also poem'd, and that was good too.

On Monday I watched an episode - two, really - of Doctor Who with some other fans at a fish and chip shop here in Portland. The meetup has grown so much the organizers need to find a larger bar at which to have the screenings. I shared some fannish discussion with people I'd met at a previous go round, so I get my personal brownie points for officially Trying To Make Friends.

On Tuesday, I will do something, but I am not sure what yet. But it will be cool.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
So while I was at ConQuest, I bought cat ears.

I wore them all day, including after the con at a patriotic concert for Memorial Day. As I pointed out to one of my family, if it isn't a safe country to wear cat ears in, it sure isn't one that it is safe to have an actual political opinion in. (Of course, it is often neither; but I figure wearing my ears, if it has any effect at all, nudges it in the more tolerant direction on average).

I have put them on for no particular reason, to go out or stay on, repeatedly since then. The headband is tighter than I would ordinarily be able to tolerate, but I don't care. I find myself stroking the soft fur, skritching around the base of the ears as if I were petting a kitty, adjusting them. If I don't think about it, I feel like they are part of my head. If I do think about it, I am tremendously, irrationally happy about having cat ears.

Among everything else, it is nice to have confirmation that being weird the way I want to unambiguously improves my life. Yes, there is a mix of benefits and drawbacks that come with every choice. However, I have consistently found that doing the "don't do that it's weird" thing frequently, intensely, and to the best of my ability ... makes me more happy, healthy, and safe. That is, as long as nobody in the situation has the power and inclination to punish me for it. Trying to act normal makes me stressed. There are some things I will act normal in order to get. But I am not giving up my cat ears. Ever.

Cat ears: good life decision.
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
A supercell storm as viewed from beneath and then above its shadowy anvil cloud.

Snow-capped mountains in brilliant sunlight.

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