alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
[personal profile] alatefeline
content note: generally low-pain person complaining about pain, please skip if you like; bad brain; fatigue; anxiety; medical stuff

So that joint issue that's been hovering around a 2 or a 3 on the aggravatingly-bad-but-I-don't-know-what's-better pain scale? Spiked really badly this week; by Tuesday it was bad, and then of course work carried on regardless so it got worse and worse. As in 'can't stand up without leaning on things because my knees hurt so bad.' As in 'whimpering while trying to sit up.' I'd put it at a 7; I definitely was falling apart just from owwww by the time I got home Friday.

I should NOT take Benedryl to help me sleep when I have sinus-y allergies or general owww, no matter how well it works. When it wears off I have two to three days of Horrible Things and I can't actually predict what they'll be (last time it was my body refusing to actually digest any food whatsoever; this time it was really terrible joint pain - it was about a 3 or 4 on Wednesday when i decided to take the Benedryl, and then it hit a 5 first thing Thursday and only went up from there) but they will be Horrible.

Also, I am still having Bad Thoughts (about how nice it would be to hurt myself, which comes out of the blue and I don't actually agree with it, but it just turns up) and feeling so tired I can hardly move by the end of work almost every day. Eating enough protein and even just enough actual food at breakfast and lunch helps stave that off, but I'm too tired and oww and bad brain to set up food for tomorrow in the evening!

What I'm afraid of is that this is a preview. Of what my joints and digestion will do if I don't figure out what I have to do to manage this stuff. And it's probably really specific exercises, and a really specific diet that might be gluten-free, dairy-free, added-sugar-free; and those will be HARD to manage, because I'm barely managing BASIC food and movement right now, and sometimes not that... And maybe some kind of medication (but I DO NOT want anything that fogs up my brain OR makes me hyper (and therefore anxious) so that's kinda limiting...but I KNOW how delicate the balance of my brain chemistry is to stay in the 'functionally productive' zone...) but it's going to be a real process managing it and I'm afraid I'll fail to be good at it and therefore damage myself. BUT. If this is the next challenge in my life, FUCK if I'm not going to TRY to be good at it. If it's working, things might be easier... buying and eating an expensive gluten-free dinner that contained vegetables, instead of pizza, last night was definitely a Good Call.

I really, really, really need to get a doctor to take me seriously about this, and I am having really shitty anxiety around appointments because I've missed so many of them. So I think I have to wait until the end of the school year when I will actually have enough time to do something other than collapse every day when I've gotten through work.

But it hurrrrrrrrrts.

Date: 27 May 2017 15:18 (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Intrusive thoughts are worst.

Also: omg r u me /o\


Date: 27 May 2017 15:42 (UTC)
sweet_sparrow: Picture of two cats lying back-to-back with two black spots connecting to make a heart. (E: Heart)
From: [personal profile] sweet_sparrow
*sends love*

Date: 27 May 2017 15:51 (UTC)
we_are_spc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] we_are_spc
Jay's not here (His girlfriend in another system has him and they're...yeah. But I bet he'd give you the sholder to howl into were he around.

That said, that sort of pain is not fun, so *hugs* from me, too.


Date: 27 May 2017 18:34 (UTC)
hollymath: (Default)
From: [personal profile] hollymath
I'm really sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I am having the same kind of brain wrongness and can imagine how much worse it'd be with body wrongness as well. Sending pain-free hugs.

Date: 27 May 2017 19:25 (UTC)
curiosity: Clouds and sunlight play over the ocean at Tybee Island. (Picto: Light and Beach)
From: [personal profile] curiosity
My sympathies with the intrusive thought thing. Everyone I know, and myself included, has had to beat them off with a stick lately.

All that pain sucks. :( Try ZZZQuil instead of Benedryl? Benedryl knocks my ass out for days but the ZZZQuil didn't have any side-effects for me.

I hope everything gets sorted soonest. *offers frosty cold beverage, an ice pack, and a heating pad*

Also, I love the title of your post. I do the same thing. Glad I am not the only one.

Date: 27 May 2017 20:33 (UTC)
gingicat: drawing of me based on wedding photo (Default)
From: [personal profile] gingicat
I'm so sorry. Are there any OTC things that help the pain?

Date: 27 May 2017 20:46 (UTC)
kengr: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kengr
Owwwie ow ow.

Many sympathies.

If you are up to it, you might want to check the ingredients (first check the active, you can worry about the inactive later) in Benadryl.

Then look up which one does what. Figure out which symptom is the one you need top deal with the most and try a pill that *only* has that active ingredient. It it causes the same problems, scratch that off your list of things you can take and be sure to read labels for what's in things.

Repeat for each active ingredient.

I learned this the hard way when I was in my 20s. Had some allergy problems, took Contac. Problem didn't go away. Finally got fed up and quit taking them. Problem stopped in a few hours...

Found my generic Benadryl clone:

Ingredients are Acetaminophen (Think Tylenol) for pain and fever relief. Diphenhydramine HCl as an anti-histamine (note that it's also used as a sleep aid in higher doses). Finally Phenylephrine HCl as a decongestant.

You can use acetaminophen or ibuprofen for the pain & fever bit.

My go to for antihistamine is chlorpheramine maleate (sold as Chlortrimeton, but available in lots of generics). But the diphenhyrdamine works ok too.

Decongestant? I don't buy that much but I used to swear by Sudafed, that's back when it was psuedoephedrine hydrochloride. Now, thanks to the folks running drug labs, they changed it to something else.

But like I said, check the ingredients individually and you may find the culprit on your own. I suspect you can rule out acetaminophen if you take it for other things.

If none of the active ingredients are the problem start checking the *inactive* ones. You may be sensitive to one of them. Luckily, different generics tend to use different fillers.

Date: 28 May 2017 00:43 (UTC)
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear
The benedryl clone we use here is just diphenhydramine, which is simply an antihistamine.

It's still possible to get real pseudoephedrine, just not in decent quantities (you're limited to about half a month's worth per month), and you have to go to the pharmacy counter to get it. The situation isn't nearly as bad as what chronic pain patients have to put up with, but it's bad.

Date: 27 May 2017 21:50 (UTC)
From: [personal profile] chalcedony_px4

The morass of biology :-(

Date: 28 May 2017 00:43 (UTC)
mdlbear: the positively imaginary half of a cubic mandelbrot set (Default)
From: [personal profile] mdlbear

*gentle hugs*

Date: 28 May 2017 01:26 (UTC)
lilacsigil: Jeune fille de Megare statue, B&W (Default)
From: [personal profile] lilacsigil
Ow, that really sucks. Something that helped me when my arthritis was being really bad was seeing a physiotherapist, not a doctor. She helped unlock all the super-tight muscles from pain that were pulling everything out of place in my sore joints, and gave me exercises to stop it getting that bad again. (I'm severely allergic to anti-inflammatory medications, so there's no help for me there.) I don't know what the process is in the US for seeing a physio and for all I know it costs thousands of dollars, but it's something that very much helped me with ongoing inflammatory pain.

*gentle hugs* I hope your body gives you a break soon.

Date: 28 May 2017 02:36 (UTC)
ghoti: fish jumping out of bowl (Default)
From: [personal profile] ghoti
no advice, or ideas, or anything really. but: <3

Date: 28 May 2017 05:13 (UTC)
vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea

— Vlad and Ben

on its side... a symbol meaning infinity

Date: 1 Jun 2017 01:10 (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Default)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
*points to beautiful icon with rainbow, infinity, Ace Pride all included* -- icon *LOVE* <3 <3 <3
vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea
Thanks! 💜

— Vlad

Date: 28 May 2017 19:55 (UTC)
lassarina: (Alyssum: With Eyes Averted)
From: [personal profile] lassarina
That sounds awful. I am so very sorry :(. I don't have helpful suggestions, but I am here, and I am reading, and I am thinking of you.

Date: 28 May 2017 22:32 (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox
I am really sorry about all of this. >///>

Do you think a lot of these physical breakdowns are coming from stress? I know my digestive system can't tolerate stress, to the point where I once spontaneously developed nightshade sensitivity, about half a year after I came out. It took me a few days to realize tomatoes and potatoes were making me sick. That went away a few months later, when I was feeling less stressed and more appreciated.

Please ... be good to yourself. Spend lots of time with stuff that makes you feel good. With people that make you feel good. Please.

Good luck dealing with an unexpectedly fragile body in the meantime. >///>

Date: 1 Jun 2017 01:32 (UTC)
johnpalmer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] johnpalmer
Weird, disturbing, "I could do (disturbing thing that would be horribly life-altering) with (kitchen utensil elided)" images do sometimes crop up for folks (definitely for me).

The best advice that I encountered (for me, of course) was to give them no real notice - that doesn't mean, like, ignore them... but take it as an "oh, right, it's raining" or "oh, that cat scratch broke skin, I'd better scrub it out and apply some peroxide" (I get a fair number of not-intended-as-nasty cat scratches because I keep forgetting to keep my cats' claws trimmed).

If you try not to think such things, you're giving them power - like "don't think of an elephant". You almost *have* to think about them, as a kind of "right, that's what I'm trying not to think of!"

But if you treat them as "okay, yeah, not having a good day when that pops up" it doesn't make them go away, but it minimizes the power they have over you.


alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)

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